A conversation with Dr. Deborah D. Roebuck, the Menopause Whisperer. Deborah emphasizes the importance of learning and challenging ourselves at every age. If you would like a financial plan to support you as you rethink and reimagine the next chapter of your life please schedule a call: https://trueabundanceadvisors.com/lets-connect
Dr. Deborah D. Roebuck is an international speaker, a workshop leader and a menopause success lifestyle coach. She focuses her talks and seminars on perimenopausal, menopausal and postmenopausal women under the theme of going through the change. Deborah desires to help women renew, rethink and reimagine middle age as a journey of self-discovery and self-care. She believes in the saying: "you are fearfully and wonderfully made", and that doesn't end at the age of 40 years old.
Deborah shares her inspiring journey from a challenging upbringing in Philadelphia to becoming a nurse and later an advocate for menopausal women. She emphasizes the importance of continual learning, resilience, and investing in both financial growth and personal well-being.
Deborah discusses her background, the influence of female mentors, and the mindset shifts needed for financial planning and investing. She also offers insights into her business, 'Going Through the Change,' which focuses on assisting women through the various stages of menopause. The episode highlights her lifelong dedication to family, education, and community support.
“A lot of times we've gotten to the point in midlife and said, oh, I'm done, I'll just be here. Let me tell you, the most important things that women do are (by) women in their 50s and above. If you look at your history book, because (of) all those experiences: treasure yourself, even if you need to write your own book of what you've done and leave it behind for the next generation. “ - Dr. Deborah D. Roebuck
Some takeaways:
-Be open to what’s calling to you. Deborah became a nurse in 1976, specializing in maternal child health. She found herself yearning to be a midwife. She happened to be reading a magazine, and it said: be a nurse midwife at the University of Utah. Did she know where the University of Utah was? She interviewed, was accepted and drove out to Salt Lake City from Philadelphia - after just getting her driver’s license! She says it was one of the best things she ever did.
-Don’t believe the naysayers. Deborah’s high school chemistry teacher told her she wasn’t college material. Her father wanted her to take typing and bookkeeping. She took those courses, but she also took physics and calculus on the side, because she had higher expectations for herself. Deborah has faith that she’s not an accident. She’s here to accomplish something and to make a mark in this life.
-Always be learning. Deborah shared something her niece told her: if you’re in a room, and you don’t learn anything new in the room, you need to get out of that room. You need to be in a room where you’re uncomfortable, where you don’t understand everything because that will pull you to learn.
About the guest:
Dr. Deborah D. Roebuck, DNP (Menopause Whisperer) is the Founder and CEO of “Going Thru The Change,” a global health and wellness company that focuses on helping women of all generations to successfully navigate premenopause (PMS), perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause. She teaches and coaches women how to achieve the Art of Managing Menopause with confidence, ease, grace, and style so they can move forward in achieving their life’s passion and purpose.
As an international speaker and workshop leader, Deborah focuses her talks and seminars on peri-menopausal, menopausal and postmenopausal women under the theme of "Going Thru the Change." She also provides one on one coaching to help women Renew, Rethink, and Reimagine middle age as a journey of self-discovery and self-care. She believes in the saying “You are fearfully and wonderfully made,” doesn’t end at the age of 40 years old!
Deborah's “keeping it real” transformational speaking style is based on her 40-plus years as a public health nurse.” Regardless of the demographic or socioeconomic level of my patients, she says, all women go through some degree of menopausal change and whisper the same question “What is wrong with me?”
Deborah earned her Doctorate from Drexel University, Masters of Science from the University of Utah, and Bachelor of Science from Villanova University. She is a widow, breast cancer survivor, and caregiver. She is very active as an international mission leader.
Websites: https://goingthruthechange.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-deborah-d-roebuck-menopause-whisperer-98121673/
Instagtam: https://www.instagram.com/menopausewhisperer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoingThruTheChange
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment or financial advice. It’s for informational purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.
Deborah Roebuck
A lot of times we've gotten to the point in midlife and said, Oh, I'm done. I'll just be here. Let me tell you, the most important thing that women do are women in their fifties and above. If you look at your history book, because all those experiences, treasure yourself. Even if you need to write your own book of what you've done and leave it behind for the next generation.
Narrator
Welcome to making change with your money, a podcast that highlights the stories and strategies of women who experienced a big life transition and overcame challenges as they redefined financial success for themselves. Now here's your host certified financial planner. Laura Rotter
Laura Rotter
I am so excited to have as my guest today, Deborah Darlene Roebuck.
Debra is an international speaker, a workshop leader, and a menopause success lifestyle coach. She focuses her talks and seminars on perimenopausal, menopausal, and postmenopausal women under the theme of going through the change. Debra desires to help women renew, rethink, and reimagine middle age as a journey of self discovery and self care.
She believes in the saying, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that doesn't end at the age of 40 years old. So welcome Debra to the making change with your money podcast.
Deborah Roebuck
Okay. Thank you for inviting me.
Laura Rotter
You're welcome. And I love that quote. So, before we start our conversation, I always like to ask the question, Deborah, what was money like in your family growing up?
Deborah Roebuck
Well, let me just say this. Within my family, money was always tight. Many of the women in my family were housekeepers. And my aunt chose to raise my sister and I, and we realize now at our age, she was only making 60 a week. And she, at that time, did so many things. She took us in her home at the age of 40.
And then my uncle, he worked two jobs. So between my aunt and my uncle, they pulled money together. And I really didn't understand money until I got my first job. I worked at a hamburger place and I was making a dollar and 15 cent an hour. Hey,
money in your pocket. And I thought for me, I can buy bacon. I can buy orange juice. I don't have to worry about, you know, buying the different things I like and that's where I was at that point in my life.
Laura Rotter
Deborah, where did you grow up?
Deborah Roebuck
I grew up in Philadelphia. But several years, I did go and live with my mother in a small town called Kannapolis, North Carolina, right outside of Charlotte.
And my main goal in life, now just think, I was in the 7th grade. I was going to work the third shift in Cannon Mills. You know, the Cannon Mill towns they used to have way back in the day? That was my life goal. I was going to work like from 11 to 7, the third shift. And I think probably at that time, if you made 5 an hour, you were doing wonderful.
Laura Rotter
So, did you get the message that it was because you said, obviously you grew up, money was tight, that it was important to save? I mean, what, what did you take away from watching your aunt and uncle?
Deborah Roebuck
Well, let me just say this. Thank you. I guess you have to think of money in a different way. But then back in those times, my great grandmother and all of them were sharecroppers.
And so the whole concept of wealth was land. So if you had land, you had something because you can build on it, you can grow on it, and what have you. So money in itself, Was not the goal because you always was going from dollar to dollar. Penny to penny when I got married. Now this might sound really crazy, I didn't get married until I was 40 years old.
Laura Rotter
Oh, wow. That is crazy.
Deborah Roebuck
And uh, and my husband was 53 and he asked me, you know, and, and, and, and I, in my church, you know, you, you go through classes, marital classes. And he said to me, well, what does your portfolio look like? Is it a portfolio? And then I knew at that time coach bags had this bag out style called the portfolio.
And I said, well, you know, I really want to get this bag, but it costs such and such a money. I didn't know what a portfolio But I found out through him that his father took him to the stock exchange or whatever at the age of 13 in Philadelphia and start talking to him about stocks and what have you. In my family, we had no concept, no thought, no anything.
And the other thing is you've already bought your burial plot. Okay. So I thought I was good because I already had my burial. That was your portfolio. And, but even though at that time I was making money, but I used the money to Help my nieces in high school. I used the money to help my brother in law through law school and my aunt who was making the 60 big time money.
I paid for a lot of the bills for her and my uncle. Even when it came to daycare services, it was like a thousand a month. She didn't have medicine. I paid her, you know? So when I got married to my husband, he said, you don't have any savings. You don't have this. You don't have it. What have you been doing with your money?
And I said, I've been helping my family. And I think that's true of a lot of different people who were very, you know, you reach back and you're not thinking I need to save so much money. I need to invest this type of money. It just wasn't part of my thing. So I had to be in an environment with my husband who was coming at it at a completely different way that I had even ever thought of.
And his, his, his mother and father, they had land. But his father was a very smart man, came out of Second World War, you know, went down the, um, Pacific realm and all of that kind of stuff. But this gentleman was very smart, he was ahead of his time to introduce this concept to my husband.
Laura Rotter
Yes. So what I'm hearing, Debra, is it was very clear what the values were of your family taking care of others.
Deborah Roebuck
Yes. Absolutely.
Laura Rotter
And I did also hear education, right? That you helped through high school, you helped through law school, understanding that that's how you can get out of being in the third shift.
Deborah Roebuck
That's right. That's right.
Absolutely, absolutely. And my uncle who, who helped raise me, he never learned how to read.
My grandmother never learned how to read. She could sign her name. My aunt, now she was the smart one because she went to the fourth, fifth grade. And people don't understand, back in that time, when you were doing sharecropping, what have you, the qualities of the schools were poor. I mean, terrible. When I went down south and went to the schools, we used to get books that were so far behind.
But, they had to work in the field. You had to work in the field if you wanted to eat, you know what I mean? So it wasn't, and I, and I think today, my aunt, with that third, fourth, fifth grade education, when she died, she died with three homes. You know what I mean? She worked as a housekeeper, and people loved her, and so they would sell her houses.
You know, and, um, I said, well, you know, girlfriend, if you were in this day and time with your way of thinking, she would sell chicken dinners. She would do all different kinds of things to get enough money. I said, you would have been a multi, multi, multi millionaire. You know what I mean?
I said, you were just born in the wrong time.
Laura Rotter
It sounds like she was really an entrepreneur.
Deborah Roebuck
Like she just, she had to earn money and came up with different ways and she rented out the house.
She rented out houses and, and did, but let me tell you something. In spite of that, when anybody in the family got in trouble with issues, money, illness, sickness, even though she didn't have any children, both her children passed, she was the one everybody came to.
You hear me? Everybody came to her, and that's how my sister and I wind up being with her.
Laura Rotter
That's a great story. She sounds like the matriarch of the family.
Deborah Roebuck
Oh, she was.
She was.
Laura Rotter
So, Deborah, what was your path? Because you obviously didn't work the, uh,
Deborah Roebuck
Well, you know what? That did sound so wild. But, um, when I was, I was always a reader.
I loved reading different stories and, and what have you. And I always read about these people who wind up going to nursing school. And I saw a television commercial said, be a nurse today. And this black nurse had this little nursing cap on. And I was like, well, look at that. And so, I, uh, applied to a lot of hospital school nurses, didn't get in, did not get in, and my counselor teacher said, you're applying to these hospitals, schools of nursing, you're a very intelligent young lady, not that anybody was saying all of that.
I want you to apply to Villanova University. I said, Villanova University, I said, they have the top baccalaureate nursing program at that time, we're talking in the 70s. In the country and the world, am I going to get in? And, but even though in my high school class, I was number 14 out of 700 and something people.
But that meant no, that didn't mean anything. So they put in my application, and I know people talk about affirmative action, but I'm an affirmative action person. And even the first week of school, they say, let's hear from the token. So they weren't making it a positive environment, but I was determined that I was going to be a nurse.
And I have been a nurse since 1976.
Laura Rotter
What kind of nursing? Any, did you end up gravitating towards any particular?
Deborah Roebuck
Let me tell you, I wind up being maternal child health. And I worked at Temple University and I got sick of all these issues with, you know, I wanted to be a midwife at that point. And I just happened to be reading a magazine, and it said, uh, Oh, be a nurse midwife at the University of Utah.
Did I know where University of Utah was? And I went, and I moved out to Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh my God! Drove out there! Drove! I just got my driver's license at 22.
Laura Rotter
Wow.
Deborah Roebuck
And it was one of the best things I could ever do. Loved it. I loved the environment. I loved the people were very embracing to me. I even won the first employee of the month for the whole University City system.
And I just had a wonderful time. And that was the environment that I knew. I said, wait a minute, I can make a difference. And they provided a platform for me to do that.
Laura Rotter
What were the strengths, I mean, I'm already hearing you are a force of nature. What are the strengths that you think, first of all, propelled you to get a nursing degree and then to, like, drive out to Utah?
What is it about you that you, I'm sure you've identified?
Deborah Roebuck
Well, now, I'm going to tell you, now you guess I'm telling my age even more. My aunt. Used to take us to rallies with martin luther king. How old were you? Seven seven eight years old. Okay, so I got to see him. I was in a rally, you know I was at a church and I just was propelled by that Also the women in my family, like I said, either they were laundress or they were doing housekeeping work but these sisters They were not playing And, and, and so I said, you know what, even though people think I am not going to be productive, I just kept pushing forward.
Even though people say, Oh, you will never. I remember my high school teacher told me, chemistry teacher told me, well, you know, you are not college material. And, and, but then my history teacher said to me, I think you are. So what I did is my father wanted me to take typing. Bookkeeping. I took those courses because I was supposed to come out with a commercial course.
But do you know on the side, I was taking physics and like calculus. I never told them. I switched to school. I did I was in a special program and and they didn't invite me in the program But I told him I think I can do it. So why don't y'all give me a chance? I don't know. I that's who I was and um, I think in a way i'm still doing the same thing.
Laura Rotter
I mean what i'm hearing you say deborah is no matter Obviously not no matter I'm assuming you're human, but no, but people reflected things back at you, but you had an inner faith and inner know that you have the ability to accomplish.
Deborah Roebuck
Absolutely. I am wonderfully and beautifully made. I am not an accident. And I thank God for that because. When I didn't, you know, a lot of times in life, you don't know things until you get older and then you look back my mother and I found out she was valedictorian in her high school and couldn't have, I didn't know any of this stuff, but she lined up when she had me went into postpartum depression and then went into schizophrenia and she, when she had me, she tried to a take her life with me in her arms.
So I tell people my life has been set apart because even then I realized I was supposed to be here for something. And that's, I think that's my foundation. I'm not an accident. I'm here to accomplish something and to make my mark in this life.
Laura Rotter
That's such a beautiful statement, and what you've said from the get go, even during our first meeting, Deborah, is that the Church has always played a very strong role and continues to play a strong role in your life.
Can you speak to that? Because, certainly, as you know, you're a nurse. You've dealt with a lot. A lot of humans. You could have made the completely opposite decision, you know?
Deborah Roebuck
Absolutely. But you know what? I tell people, um, when I was really, I don't know, I was very young. My aunt always took us to church, Sunday school.
And so I, I had all these women. In the church who embraced me and took me under their wings I'll be honest with you. Just one lady. Her name is miss mcneil. She has passed away She did so much in my life and she never met any of the people in my family She, she, she was like a spiritual mother to me and I think, and then even going to college when I told one of my, the ladies, her name was Ms. Beck, I said, well, you know, Ms. Beck, I can't go to school because I can't get into hospital school, nursing. Here she was in the bed, double amputee.
Laura Rotter
Oh, wow.
Deborah Roebuck
And at that time she was running numbers, you know, that was a little She said, Deborah, you never start at the bottom. You start at the top and let somebody push you down, but don't you push yourself down.
I said, okay, miss back. And so she and the lady, um, my father at that time was in a relationship with, they started looking for scholarships. Now these ladies weren't hired. They're acting. No, both of them were not high school graduates, but they would look at the papers and they, uh, helped me apply to, um, different scholarships and they just kept pushing me, pushing me.
So I tell people a lot of times, and I have no children, you know, but I got children. That's what people tell me. I'm not a grandmother, but they tell me I am a grandmother and then people call me auntie. Okay. But these ladies were the framework to keep pushing me and said, Debra, you could do it. When I graduated from nursing school, whose house was I over?
Miss Beck's house, pulling up her insulin, giving her injection. She did things. Not because she had to, but it was in her. And my aunt always said, you treat children with respect. Cause that same child might need to give you a glass of water one day. And that's true. You never know. And, and people used to fight my aunt and said, why are you taking care of those children?
Later on, I'm talking about 60 years later, one of her sisters said, I am so glad that Lee didn't listen to us. Y'all have treated her fabulously. I want to thank you. So you're not going to see it right then and there, but investing, you know, and I tell people the things my eye has told me is investing is worth millions and millions of dollars.
Because it made me make decisions in my life that would put me forward in what I do, how I do, how I honor money. I'm a steward of money. And then how do I invest that money into other people or other activities? That's important to me.
Laura Rotter
And so I guess I'm curious before I ask how you moved into this new, new role that you've chosen for yourself, you talked about investing.
Did you, once you got married, start to actually invest in the financial markets or have you continued to give your money to charitable books.
Deborah Roebuck
And, and my ultimate goal with doing this business, going through the change is to set up a foundation for women who are missionaries. A lot of times people don't realize.
Women who are missionaries, and I know them now, they're in their seventies, they got PhDs, they're running hospitals, doing schools, doing all that. Then when they come home, they have no health coverage, they have no housing. All of these different things because they gave up everything to help money. And so I believe in investing.
Uh, and my goal is to be able to leave a foundation behind. My husband taught us together. We learned how to invest in different company. I told my sister the other day, I have a one nephew, he sneezes all the seasons, one nephew, and he comes over the house and he said, you got any more hot wheels? I get these little hot wheels and I put them in a drawer.
I said, let me tell you something. Give you these hot wheels, but you don't cherish this. I said, do you know years from now? They could be worth something and people say, oh, well, how will dollar store? I said, let me tell you I do not buy him big price ticket things. No I put so much money in the bank or in in stocks So I told him I said listen what things do you like?
I said because I want you to do that because then i'm going to invest that money in the stock market What do you like? And so then I will invest it and kind of think about my aunt because she worked for all these families She told me these families start their babies off putting money and investing in these young children And she got us a little passport bank account The dollar here and a dollar there Wait a minute.
She did that. And later on, I needed books for, uh, for college, my nursing books. And I was able to go, it wasn't a lot of money, but I was able to buy books. So she was doing that because she saw a model of the people that she worked for. And they did that. And that's what I'm telling him. He's eight years old.
Laura Rotter
Oh God, he's so little.
Deborah Roebuck
Yeah, but I told him, look, you, you come back to auntie. He calls me grantee. Cause I'm like, not just an aunt, but a grand aunt. You come back and you tell me what you like, and then we'll go and look at investing something for you because I want you to be able to go to college and what have you and have money there so you can pay for your, your higher education.
Laura Rotter
That's so nice, Deborah. Again, coming through how important family is and teaching the values to the next generation. So, how did you, when did you leave Utah? How did you, what, how did the journey continue to where it is today?
Deborah Roebuck
Well, when I was in Utah, I was up to 26 years old. I got my master's degree in nursing clinical specialist.
I was going to move to Arizona, and my father got cancer. Uh, and I had to come home. I packed up everything, and I drove back from Utah to Philadelphia, and I took care of him. My father only lived about a year and a half, and I stayed in Philadelphia, and then I moved with my aunt and uncle. Now, they had a house.
One house was empty. So I moved to their empty house, and I lived next door to them. That's when I did all the nursing, all the different things. I did the mission trip. My first mission trip was Haiti at 20 years old. And so from there, all these years, I moved from direct nursing to being with the department of health.
I was administrative for women and children's health for 24 years. I set up programs. I did a lot of grant writing. I did a pension.
Laura Rotter
Yes. I've come to really recognize how valuable pensions are.
Deborah Roebuck
Listen, listen, very, very, and, and, and, and I tell people, I said, okay, how are you, either you going to be investing, putting money in now into your Roth, your IRA, or do you have a pension plan?
When do you be invested? Find out how much money. One of my pensions, I only get 117. And that's because I worked for their hospital for nine years, but that could pay electric bill. Okay. Yeah, it's money. That's money. Or I tell people, even if it's little, take that money and invest it. And make that money make money.
I I tell the different women I talk to I said you're spending all this money on this other thing if it's not making any money Why are you paying for something that loses its value? Okay, you're gonna buy all these thousand dollar pocketbook Go to the thrift store. Don't be spending. I said it's that it's and then when you sell it back, what does it work?
So I try to tell women put it put it in something And make it make money for you later on. Cause when you get older, I want to hear you talking back. I only got enough money to get a can of tuna fish.
Laura Rotter
So you shifted from doing clinical work to being more of an administrative work?
Deborah Roebuck
Yes, absolutely. And, and managing staff and people say, how many staff people?
I said, I didn't even count. It would make me nervous, but I had a lot of people. Underneath me, and I use it back in those days. I've managed to budget like 14 million a year or more.
Laura Rotter
What did you enjoy about that? Because I can see that you like people and you're great with people. So I wouldn't have necessarily thought that you would.
Deborah Roebuck
Oh, no, but I got to get the money so that I can have the programs.
Laura Rotter
That's true.
Deborah Roebuck
Yeah. And so I, I, I grew in, you know, as I moved forward and, and the different people around and I would be on different boards and all this kind of stuff, I didn't know anything, but I grew. And that's the thing. I told somebody the other day, I was sort of meeting the other day right now, my new title, Um, elder tech, innovator, innovator.
I took a course on AI and gamification in September. Did I know at the end of the course, I developed my first app. Uh hot flash harmony then, uh, uh, somebody asked me to be on this team Now i'm getting ready for a hackathon Where one person is with blockchain another person is with the geno project and another person All these high level people And I told him, what do I know?
They said, but Debra, we're doing all this around menopause. We need you in here to help guide us so that we can develop enough information to deal with these issues that women are dealing with. And I told my niece, I said, I don't know what these people talk about. She told me. If you're in a room and you don't learn anything new in the room, you need to get out that room and you need to be in a room where you uncomfortable.
You don't understand everything because that will pull you to learn. And I told the people in my accelerator, because the guy just happened to walk by me at this conference. And I said, listen, I'm getting ready to be 70 years old. Can I apply for your accelerator? He was so nice. He said, Oh yeah. Well, I'm one of his favorite students.
Now, you know, he asked me, you know, he asked me on Sunday, what, what are you doing? I said, I'm getting ready to be in this hackathon. He said, what?
Laura Rotter
Learning keeps us young. Yes, it does. I mean, I talk about that with my friends all the time that I, I started this business a little under a decade ago, and I'm constantly learning.
There's always changes, new fintech, new financial technology to use, new tax law changes. I'm always learning. I'm always challenging myself. So what shifted, Debra, that other than perhaps your own menopausal journey, but love to hear about it.
Deborah Roebuck
Well, well, let me tell you, bottom line at 60, I knew I was getting ready to retire.
My husband got sick with prostate cancer. My husband passed away. He's the one who encouraged me in my doctoral program. And my sister said, Deborah, you aren't doing anything. So we found out about this conference and the conference was about Manifest your vision. I said, well, what is my vision? So I flew down to Florida with my sister and they said this person was going to be my management coach.
I put all this money into it and I wind up putting sitting in a room with women Who were saying let's start our own business. My sister said well, you know what Debra going through the change And she said and you the menopause whisper I said, okay, let me get that trademark. So I got it and then all of a sudden what happened?
COVID. I was gonna do speaking engagements and what have you. I had to learn technology. I didn't know Zoom, I didn't know Instagram. It's the what? The ground. I didn't know what and I had to go through a crash course. So during Covid, I used that time to talk to women about their health, talk to them about Covid, and it just.
I wind up doing everything from a virtual perspective. I push myself. And a lot of times I know people say, well, you know, during that time I was alone. Well, girl, I was on there. I had so many zoom meetings. I was on there with people from all over. I was so busy and I did not go out the house for six months.
Laura Rotter
I had the same experience. I love it though. You're, you strike me as much more of an extrovert than I am, but I have to say, Debra, I'm an introvert and before like networking, I didn't want to walk into a big room with people. I didn't know I met so many people during COVID because it felt safer. And then I would, if I clicked with someone like I am with you. I would say, okay, I'm going to follow up afterwards and set up a one on one. And it's true. I was busier during COVID than I ever.
Deborah Roebuck
Absolutely. And, and I say to people who are older, cause I see that have that fear of technology. And I tried to sit and work. I said, what is your fear?
I said, why don't you parallel? Okay. Oh yeah. Back in the days. Did we have a Xerox machine? I remember when we didn't have Xerox machines and you used to roll it through the thing. Oh my God. And I, I said, Hey, you even remember telephones when, and we were on a party line. You had to ask somebody, can you let me talk to so and so?
And you scheduled it all this. You cannot stay in the same thing. And I, and, and a lot of times women, I have to say to them, what are you modeling to your grandbaby? Forget about you, because I know you're not going to think about yourself. Model what you want them to be in 10 or 20 years. Then I talk to young people.
I tell them, my niece, she used that phone to go wherever. I said, well, don't you know how to go without looking at the phone? So we were talking about, I said, well, go north or go east, go west. I don't know where that is. How do you know what the east? I said, where does the sun come up every morning? She said, well, I heard it came up from the east, you know, some little ditty, you know, and I said, and at night, where's the sun going down?
I said, that's Wes, and she, and she said, Oh, I remember this, but she said, I never correlated that together with me trying to find directions where I'm going. We need each other. They need to help us understand this new concept and we need to give them more foundation of where we are because I tell them at any time, things can change.
Are you ready? For a possibility that you might not be able to take that phone because that phone can't get charged. How are you going to know where you are? And so, oh, okay, auntie, I understand what you're saying.
Laura Rotter
And she can help you with Instagram.
Deborah Roebuck
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. But I'm going to tell you when my husband passed away and my sister told me to start this business and during COVID, I saw a whole nother trajectory.
So my niece says, auntie, you're acting like you're old. I want you to start thinking. 10 years from now. Okay. So right now i'll be 70 soon So what am I going to look like at 80? And what am I going to look like at 90? Well, I have girlfriends that are 90 and we talk to each other. They're not in no nursing home Girl, all the stuff that they're doing and I said then how am I going to be healthy enough to keep up with them?
I said because people living longer you might live to a hundred How you want to live in a bed or or jogging up and down the street? And you got to make a decision.
Laura Rotter
It's part of investing, like we've said, right? Of course, investing again in wealth, but investing in ourselves, investing in how we eat and making sure we get enough sleep, making sure we get movement every day.
Absolutely. So maybe the whole concept is investing. What are you investing in? And what is your ultimate goal and how do you plan to reach that goal? That's what I I think is a good thing. You know, i'm i'm thinking about that just talking with you, you know Okay, i'm going to invest this day to day. What am I going to do?
Who am I going to put all my assets in or am I going to be a liability to myself and others around me?
Laura Rotter
There are great questions to ask every day when we get up and remind ourselves that this is all we have, right? Like this day, this moment. So, can you share with, with our listeners, Debra, so what your business is?
Deborah Roebuck
Well, as I said, I'm the Menopause Whisperer. I work with, uh, with women. I have been working with women over the last several years. Like, you might think it's a little different, but I had one woman call me up and I worked with her. She is in her late 60s, still having hot flashes, but at the same time she's taking care of her mother who's in their 90s.
And just had all these other health issues. So my thing is a lot of times, especially when you get to this point, there might not be offering you hormone replacement. Okay. So you have to think in your mind, you're either from a medical perspective, either you're going to take something or whatever, whether it's hormone or non hormone.
But the other thing is life choices. What things are you doing in your life that you could accelerate your health? What things are you doing now that are triggers that's going to cause you to have hot flashes? I was at a workshop and the lady said, Well, girl, let me tell you something. I know I'm getting ready to have a hot flash cause I got my cigarette.
And I'm getting ready to have my Pepsi. But the thing is she was managing the situation because she knew this was coming, so she made a decision. But a lot of people move through life and women, we're not even thinking, what am I doing? How's that enhancing me? Your lifestyle and more and more, you hear about lifestyle medicine.
You know, when, when, when I grew up, it was just take a pill, take a pill, take a pill. Now they're talking about wellness, health, risk factors, all of these different things. And you have to work with that. And I educate women about these things. And then I say to them, did you know there's probably over 35 different signs and symptoms of menopause?
So what I did, uh, bootcamp and I showed them a whole prayer. Then we went to. Lunch and came back. Well, this one woman, I think she does work at, out of Princeton university. And I said, well, how were y'all lunch? She said, girl, after I saw that, I called each and every one of those doctors and made appointment.
Why not? I mean, even so simple as I talked to them, change your hair. The decrease of hormones could change the texture of your hair. And she said, why? I was at the hairdresser and she asked me if I was in menopause, cause my hair has changed.
Laura Rotter
My hair used to be really curly. I mean, I, I don't know what happened to it. It's shifting the hormones.
Deborah Roebuck
You know, I talked to one of the skin, you know, my, my skin used to be so elastic, you know, and then, you know, people, the thing is, they never correlated or connected to the shift in their hormones. Especially this month for me is fuzzy thinking i'm getting ready to put out a newsletter fuzzy thinking And they said well, what's the difference between fuzzy thinking and I think i'm getting ready to go into Alzheimer, okay, and a lot of times the perimenopausal young women and I remember this I was running 10 meetings a day.
But then again, I said, where's my keys?
It's important to how your cognitive health and then eventually you'll come out of that. And I noticed after a couple of years, Oh, Okay, I stopped my period. Okay, I'm, uh, you know, there was again another shift. There are shifts in women's life and especially for us baby boomers. Now they got four categories underneath baby boomers.
Every 10 years is another thing going on with us. And I tell them, say, get ready for the switch because something else is coming.
Laura Rotter
So I guess I'm hearing some of the things that happen once we start moving into Perimenopause and menopause, of course, hot flashes, fuzzy thinking, sleep. Oh, that's true.
Deborah Roebuck
Yes. And the women I work with, girl, I wake up at three o'clock in the morning. And Ryan can't go back to sleep. I can't go back to sleep. And I said, first and foremost, Had you talked to your doctor about it? Well, I didn't think I should well, first of all Tell your doctor tell him about what's for him and her about your sleep.
You might need to go to a sleep center I found out that I had apnea sleep apnea, you know We just say oh i'll just no sleep is important to build your immune system all of these things and and then also, uh, another thing is Once the hormones have really no more periods, then you're at higher risk of cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, you cough, you pee.
I mean, really! Oh my
Laura Rotter
God. It's so true.
Deborah Roebuck
And I talked to them and I said, well, I haven't been to a GYN doctor in years. You haven't? Well, they said, when you're 65, you don't have to get a past me. I said, it's more down there than just that service. So I, you know, I, I do individuals, I do workshops, I do conferences, but now I want to work with businesses because Forbes said.
26 percent of the working population are women in some phase of menopause. Now you got the pre menopause childbearing women like, What? You're talking about this hot place? I'm sick of hearing her about, Can you turn the heat down? You know, you've got all these generations working with each other and from a woman's perspective, you're all at different stage menopausal phase to help them work together and understand each other.
And that's what I want to work with businesses more to say I'm biased, but I think us menopausal women are one of the most important employees. Because, you know, don't we keep everybody together? Somebody gonna say, well, Mary, what should I do? We gonna work hard. And other people say, well, I'm going home.
We take our work home. You better value that employee that is there sticking by you rather than ignoring her and then wonder why your new employee isn't like Mary. Whole other conversation. Different generations.
Laura Rotter
So, Deborah, as we get to the end of our talk together, As you look back, do you see, has your definition of success shifted from when you were in your 20s?
Deborah Roebuck
Yeah, well, when I was in my 20s, my whole thing is, oh, I'm going to get married, have so many children, and I'll have a job, and I might get a pension. At 70, success means that I have developed something that will be here 20, 30, to 100 years after I'm gone.
And it can, it doesn't have to be in a history book, but did I plant. In a young person, did I encourage somebody? What framework did I give to my family? Now my nieces and them talking about, we want to talk about generational wealth and sit there, you know, cause I'm talking about, girl, you got to get this thing together here.
Uh, I think for me also success is that I have a sound mind, you know, the old people said I woke up this morning with my sound mind and the blood running because I'm a breast cancer survivor.
Laura Rotter
Oh, wow.
Deborah Roebuck
That's that, that is success for me that I'm here to tell somebody else. Financially now, you know, back in the days, if you had a couple hundred thousand, you was rich.
And then a couple of million now people in the billionaire and I'm like, I know I can't even think about being no billionaire and I don't want the headaches to go along with it. But for me is, can I pay my bills? And what am I leaving behind? Am I investing in the next generation, or my neighborhood, or my community?
For me, that's what success is. And I think I have been blessed that I use what I've been given. And grow it, you know what I mean?
Laura Rotter
Yeah. I'm hearing the same theme that, you know, we started our conversation with, which is family and the next generation and a legacy and your values. You've always been centered in your values, Debra, and made decisions on the basis, and you want to pass that role onto your niece, your nephew, your
Deborah Roebuck
Yes, absolutely.
And I tell them constantly, like they might make fun of me because they said I have all this stuff in the house while doing COVID. They brought their shopping bag. I need some toilet paper.
And I'm telling them now, y'all better have yourself some rice and beans and put some stuff in your freezer because you don't know how. Now they listen. You know what I mean? Now they're listening to me before they thought I was just, you know, a clutter. You don't have no fundamental concept. You got all this stuff in your house.
I said, I'm talking about function here.
Laura Rotter
So is there anything you want to make sure that you say to our listeners before we go? Women in midlife who are listening to the show?
Deborah Roebuck
I think they need to reclaim their lives. A lot of times we've gotten to the point in midlife and said, oh, oh, I'm done. I'll just be here. Let me tell you, the most important thing that women do are women in their 50s and above.
If you look at your history book, because all those experiences, treasure yourself. Even if you need to write your own book of what you've done and leave it behind for the next generation. But I tell every woman at this time, get your executive board. And it's like, executive, boy, you need to have a group of friends that when they look at you, they'll say, you know what, you don't look good.
I think I need to go to the doctor with you. You don't know how many people I have said, you don't look right. And they have said to me, you don't look right. One, one, I had to fight the doctor. I said, I've known her since she was six and she's 67. Don't you know they called her that night and had to do emergency surgery?
That's a friend. And that executive board of different friends, maybe a health friend around health, another friend might be one that just holds your hand and cries with you. You know, you need your own corporation. You are a corporation.
Laura Rotter
You need your cheerleaders as well.
Deborah Roebuck
Yes, absolutely. The very people who are gonna, and treasure your friends, invest in your friends, call your friends, say, how are you doing right now?
Because as you get older, trying to start a new friendship at 60 is not easy. It could be done because I've done it, but value you. See that you are not a carbon copy and you are original. Okay?
Laura Rotter
Love the message. That's what I'm saying. And I so agree as someone who was very busy in a previous career on Wall Street and didn't have time to invest in Friends, and I know how important it is now to, you know, even text if you don't have time for a long call.
But I'm thinking of you. Hope you're all right.
Deborah Roebuck
Yes. And, and, and the old school, get yourself a Hallmark card, a dollar store and put a stamp on that. Let me tell you, that's a great value. People say, Oh my God, they put the card in and they mailed it and they wrote that can be worth millions of dollars to somebody to bring a smile to their face.
Laura Rotter
Yes. I love it. You are such an inspirational woman. I, I know you were inspired by your aunt before you and you are carrying on her legacy so, so strongly. So I'm so glad our paths crossed, Deborah. I am so I'm going to put your website and other information in the show notes and, um, it's been such a nice conversation.
I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Dr. Debra Roebuck, the menopause whisperer. And here are some of my takeaways. Be open to what's calling to you. Debra became a nurse in 1976, specializing in maternal child health, but she found herself yearning to be a midwife. She happened to be reading a magazine and it said, Be a nurse midwife at the University of Utah.
Did she know where the University of Utah was? She interviewed, was accepted, and drove out to Salt Lake City from Philadelphia after having just gotten her driver's license. Debra says it was one of the best things she ever did. My second takeaway, Don't believe the naysayers. Debra's high school chemistry teacher told her she wasn't college material.
Her father wanted her to take typing and bookkeeping. She took those courses, but she also took physics and calculus on the side because she had higher expectations for herself. Debra has faith that she's not an accident. She's here to accomplish something and to make a mark in this life. She's And my final takeaway, always be learning.
Deborah shared something her niece told her. If you're in a room and you don't learn anything new in the room, you need to get out of that room. You need to be in a room where you're uncomfortable, where you don't understand everything, because that will pull you to learn. If this conversation I had with Deborah struck a chord with you.
Don't hesitate to schedule some time with me so we can arrange your finances. So you too can move forward with purpose. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please share it with a friend. And don't forget to subscribe. So you won't miss the next episode. And if you leave a rating and review, if you're enjoying it, It would be greatly appreciated and will help others just like you to find it.
Thank you so much.
Narrator
Thanks for listening to Making Change With Your Money. Certified financial planner, Laura Rotter, specializes in helping people just like you organize, clarify, and invest their money in order to support a life of purpose and meaning. Go to www. trueabundanceadvisors. com forward slash workbook for a free resource to help you on your journey.
Disclaimer, please remember that the information shared by this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment, or financial advice. It's for information purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.