An interview with Michele Lamoureux, CEO of Lamoureux Media and host of the acclaimed podcsat,"The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux."
Michele Lamoureux, distinguished author, certified empowerment and holistic health coach, and host of the acclaimed podcast "The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux," is a leading figure in the field of personal development. Michele has over fifteen years of experience in international marketing and branding campaigns for professional service firms, after which she founded Lamoureux Media. Her firm offers coaching programs and curated content for women who want to up-level their lives.
Michele believes that understanding the value of self-worth and self-care holds the key to a fulfilling life. Her definition of success is finding contentment within the small, everyday moments and having trust in oneself to navigate life’s challenges.
Michele is passionately committed to motivating women in midlife, helping them live joyous, healthier, and more meaningful lives. As the author of "Design a Life You Love," Michele promotes practicing positive inner dialogue, self-care routines and infusing life with joy.
Her top-ranked podcast features conversations with notable authors, experts, and exceptional entrepreneurs, aiming to empower women to connect with their inner voice and live a life they truly love.
“So I believe that we all have these inner knowings, these inner whispers, and they're talking to us all the time and some of them, you know, get loud and some of them we really need to pay attention to because we don't want them to just go away, that flame to just poof. And so I could just hear it. It was like Michelle, you need to prioritize yourself again.” - Michele Lamoureux
Key takeaways:
- Be willing to bet on yourself: Michele left the dream job she had for many years as Director of Marketing for a law firm. It didn’t feel like a risk to her when her heart began to be called to coaching because she knew was responsible, she was a hard worker, and that if she failed she could always get another job. And just as importantly, Michele knew that she had a big financial cushion, that she had money in the bank that could tide her over if things didn’t work out.
- Remember what makes you uniquely you, what your gifts and talents are: Often we take our unique talents for granted because they come so easily to us. Look back at your life for the through line, the situations, the experiences and memories that maybe didn’t seem connected at the time but brought you to where you are today.
Michele was in a program to be certified as a Holistic Health Coach, which offered a class on how to self-publish a book. The experience reminded her of how she had loved to write when she was younger. She wrote a book about self-love and received an award from the class.
- Pay attention to your inner-chatter: We may not notice until we start paying attention just how mean our inner talk is and so habitual. If we talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves, we’d have no friends. We need to befriend ourselves and to be kind to ourselves.
- Spend some time listening to what your heart is whispering to you: Make a habit of journaling five-ten minutes a day to connect and get clear about what you truly want. We’re so clear about what everyone else in our life needs and we’re focused on that but what do you want? Get connected to your truth and give a little bit to yourself, figure out ways to add yourself back into your life.
About the guest:
Michele Lamoureux is an author, speaker and the host of the top-ranked podcast, "The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux." In her book “Design a Life you Love,” she advocates for adopting self-love as a catalyst for a wholesome life. With an illustrious career in corporate America, spearheading marketing and branding campaigns for professional service firms, she founded Lamoureux Media, helping women better their lives. As a certified empowerment and holistic health coach, Michele works to guide women through self-discovery and empowerment.
Website: https://thegoodlifecoach.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/goodlifecoachpodcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michele_lamoureux/
Email: michele@thegoodlifecoach.com
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Michele Lamoureux
So I believe that we all have these inner knowings, these inner whispers. And they're talking to us all the time. And some of them, you know, get loud, and some of them we really need to pay attention to because we don't want them to just go away, that flame to just poof. And so I could just hear it, it was like, Michelle. You need to prioritize yourself. Again.
Narrator
Welcome to Making Change With Your Money, a podcast that highlights the stories and strategies of women who experienced a big life transition and overcame challenges as they redefined financial success for themselves. Now, here's your host, certified financial Planner, Laura Rotter. I am so excited to have as my guest today, Michelle Lamoureux.
Laura Rotter
She's an author, speaker, self love coach, and host of the top ranked global podcast, The Good Life with Michelle Lamoureux. Michelle interviews world class experts. Authors, CEOs, and offers solo cast to inspire midlife women to live happier, healthier, and more meaningful lives. As the author of Design a Life You Love, Michelle teaches women the power of self love.
She spent 15 years in corporate America before becoming an entrepreneur and founding Lamero Media. Where she offers coaching programs and curated content for women who want to up level their lives. So welcome Michelle to the making change with your money podcast.
Michele Lamoureux
I'm really honored to be sitting with you today, Laura.So fun to be here.
Laura Rotter
Looking forward to our conversation and I'm going to start as I start all my podcasts with the question, what was money like in your family growing up?
Michele Lamoureux
I love this question and I actually reflect on it often because money wasNot something we had a lot of growing up, but I walked away with a really positive message about money.
I'm first generation American on my mother's side, second on my father's. So I'll speak for me, but I think generally speaking, a lot of people who walk, you know, have parents who've come here and see hardworking parents who really want to focus on making a better life for their families. And so money became a vehicle.
To love and support their family and that is how I think it wasn't like something they talked about, but they were both aligned in terms of that value around family. So we didn't my brothers and I didn't have the cool Nike sneakers that were so popular. I'm Gen X in the late 70s and early 80s. Everyone can picture them with the red swoosh.
We didn't have those. All of our friends had them. But my dad managed to take us on a vacation every February and April and outings in the summer. So they prioritized. experiences, time together. There was always, my mom's an amazing cook, always fresh fruits and vegetables and meals that we sat around, so they prioritized nourishment.
My dad got his degree, he was the first to go to college in his family and he put himself through. He's got a degree in electrical engineering. And so tech was a big part of growing up. And so money was spent. We had the first Mac computer when it came out, nobody else in the neighborhood had that. My dad bought a video camera cause I was in musical theater actually with Joey McIntyre from new kids on the block when he was eight before he's, you know, became the, the well known celebrity that he is today, but he bought that so he could videotape and capture those memories.
Of me on stage as a child. And so it just sort of warms my heart in terms of how they approached money. And so when he was 50, he became an entrepreneur. He just like his father. So I came from a family of entrepreneurs. When my grandfather came here, when he was a young man, he bought a store with his brother and they grew that and sold it.
And so my dad, with this focus on family realized he had three kids that he was going to have to put through college. And they also had an emphasis on education. And so by 58, he retired. He put the three of us through college. He helped my two brothers with part of their tuition for MIT business school.
He helped us with down payments on our house. Again, money was for family, for foundations, for support, for empowerment, for creating a better future for the next generation of family. And so I have. So much gratitude and respect and I feel like I've taken away such great lessons about it and how to save because I also learned from him.
It's not what you make. It's how you, what you do with that money and how you prioritize it, which I know is a big part of your work, Laura.
Laura Rotter
Yes. And so how did he teach you about saving? Is that something that he actually sat you down, Michelle, and talked about or you just watched him?
Michele Lamoureux
No, he was good about this.
So I remember my very first job, I was 16 and I worked at a bank over the summer. And I remember, yeah, I was like, you know, some administrator role in there. And I remember one of my coworkers, this guy, Paul, I'll never forget him. Cause he was like, do you want me to buy you beers and stuff? I'm like, no, I'm good.
I'm good. You know, I was a good kid. I was like, I'm fine. And he had access to my account and he's like, you've saved 3, 000. I don't have a penny. Like I don't have any money saved. How have you saved 3, 000? And I was like, my dad told me you need to save your money. And so he taught me when I had that job, save your money.
you know, what is it that you're putting it towards? Education. This is going to go towards your college. So he paid for all of our stuff, but he taught us to, to save that money. And actually when I know it's kind of popular now, whether parents want it or not for millennials to live at home, but I did choose to culturally, it's very normal.
And to do that, it's kind of a norm. And so I stayed at home for three years after college and I saved about 30, 000. Again, my parents didn't have me pay, you know, rent or towards the food, the nourishment, that was all part of supporting the family, but they showed me like it was important to save. So I was able to buy my first car with cash at 27.
It was a Saab convertible. It was used. It was used, but my first condo by the time I was 30. That is really impressive, Michelle. So that's why I have so much gratitude. I have so much gratitude for it, for the way that they did it. And also I would say just to give, my mom was a good partner for him in terms of, you know, she prioritized the food and Thankfully, she had a great sense of style.
And so she taught me how to buy clothes. You didn't have to have the designer clothes to look and feel good. So I learned that and also just generosity of spirit. If you don't have money to give, you can give your time. You can get, make food for somebody. You can be a kind hearted, listening ear. She's such an empath.
and she was the safe space for so many of the kids in the neighborhood. We were the house that everyone came over to. And so there was always food on the table, a loving environment, and that's what was prioritized. And that's, that's what I walked away with.
Laura Rotter
Thank you so much for sharing that. And it's such a beautiful portrait, Michelle, that you just gave your family.
I was recently in a group where, frankly, Talking to a bunch of people that don't have such positive memories of growing up, I think it's unfortunately rarer than it should be to hear that, the kind of tribute I have to say that you just gave to your parents
and how they brought you and your brothers up. I'm curious that I found that a number of the women I've interviewed grew up, as I did, only girls. Were you the only girl in a family that otherwise included boys?
Michele Lamoureux
Yes, I have two brothers. I'm the middle child and that was part of the takeaway too. It's interesting because I was painting the house with my dad at 11 years old, scraping the side of the house and learning to do that kind of thing versus being in the kitchen with my mom.
I think culturally there was such an emphasis on being that caretaker in the culture and stuff. And she wanted me to prioritize education. And so I, Loved working and so anything I could do to like help around the house, whether it was her or whatever, but in a way I wish there was more time in the kitchen I do have nice memories of being with my mom and my Nana But I'm not the cook that either of them were those are lovely memories sitting and you know Making some of the traditional foods, but yeah
Laura Rotter
So, I think that's wonderful because often I imagine that there would be sort of a segmentation of roles within the family if there are, you know, more than one sex. And so there's a, would be a clear differentiation and it sounds like that might have happened, but your mother was clear that she didn't want it to happen.
Michele Lamoureux
She did. And she's very modern minded. It's why she came to the United States and she always, yeah, they treated me the same. Although I will remember one time when my parents went away, just once they went on a trip and my Nana stayed with us and my grandmother told me I had to help clear the table. And I said, well, what about. the boys. What about my brother? She said, no, no, you are going to help me. That's not their job. And so this is the same mother that raised my mother. But my mother had a much, she, you know, she didn't buy into all of that. She was much too modern. And so I think she made it an effort to make sure that I never felt like I had a different role within the family at all.
Laura Rotter
Wonderful
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah.
Laura Rotter
I'm hearing from you, Michelle, that, that you took it for granted that you would go to college.
That you started saving when you were seven and you,
Michele Lamoureux
no, no, not seven, 16, 16. Oh yeah, exactly. From the time I was born, I went to work and yeah.
Laura Rotter
But you knew, you knew you were going to be going to college.
That wasn't a question. Is that correct?
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah. Education was prioritized. Yes. My parents, like I said, everything they did, even when they didn't have much was on a future that they were helping to support create for sure.
Laura Rotter
And did you have a sense of what you were interested in studying?
Michele Lamoureux
I was always about justice.
So I always thought like everyone's like, Oh, you should be a lawyer. And so I studied political science. It was called government. I went to a liberal arts school in Maine and I also was an education minor. My mom was a teacher before she stayed at home with us. Yeah. I always thought I was going to go to law school and ended up as a paralegal in a law firm and kind of pursuing that path until I Talk to enough lawyers that seem deeply unhappy with their work and they were like, Michelle, go get your MBA. Don't go to law school. They're like, you'll be a great lawyer, but don't do it. Don't do it. And so I, I listened to them and I didn't go and get a JD. I didn't follow that path.
Laura Rotter
So, so I'm from a family. My father was a lawyer, my uncle's a lawyer, my cousins are lawyers, my sister's a lawyer, and my father, though he says he doesn't remember saying this, but he said to me, get a JD degree. You don't need to practice as a lawyer. It's just a good degree to have. And I did not. I went for my MBA instead, as you did. And I remember my sister saying my, my husband's from a family of doctors. He's a doctor. My son is a doctor, everybody in family's a doctor. And my sister turned to me and said, you know, you're the only non professional in the room, which again, I, you know, I think there was a bit of competition there, but it's interesting. I'm so glad I did not get my law degree. I, the lawyers that I know work long hours and often are not particularly happy about the work they're doing.
Michele Lamoureux
And that's kind of what I saw.
I was looking to the women partners as what my future could look like. And it didn't feel aligned with the life I sort of had envisioned for myself. And actually I was going to apply to get an MBA and I didn't because I ended up coming back into the firm in marketing and within six months I was promoted to the marketing director.
So I, my career sort of took an unexpected turn when I chose to, to practice marketing instead. And so there was no time to go get the MBA. It was sort of an on the job MBA, but it was a little bit unexpected, but it was great.
Laura Rotter
So, Michelle, what drew you to marketing?
Michele Lamoureux
I left the law firm as a paralegal and I worked for an executive search firm and they were placing different types of positions within startup companies.
So it was interesting because I've always been around entrepreneurs. Like I said, my grandfather, my dad, my husband, my younger brother, always. Around entrepreneur and all the, all of the clients that they'll offer them their most, the majority of them were startups. So it was like this world of startups.
So I was always sort of excited by the ideas that were being generated and people's ability to bring these visions to life. But one of the positions that we were filling were, were marketers. And I'd literally never even heard the term marketing and college at my liberal arts college. I was a, like I said, a political science major.
I wish there was some exposure to that. But I was like, Oh, I think I would actually enjoy this. And I happened to be talking to one of the women at the law firm who was the head of paralegals. She was my, my boss at the time. And she's like, you know, there's a marketing position opening up. Would you be interested?
I'm like, yeah, for sure. And so I went in for the interview and then I got the job. And then six months later, I was the head of marketing. So it was sort of. I'm expected, but I think just so I'm kind of glossing over, but I worked those lawyer hours as a paralegal. I said yes to every project.
Laura Rotter
Michelle, you said that you thought marketing would be something that you would be good at.
I'm paraphrasing. What about you and your skills? Made you think that.
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah. So what I learned of it and what I knew about it, the creativity, big picture thinking, connecting with people, relationship development, it was really more aligned with, I feel like so many of my strengths and. When I got in the job, what I loved about it was that I was in a law firm and I actually, I love working with attorneys, love them.
I just had the most, I had the greatest experience as a paralegal. And I had, it was almost like having my own company within the law firm because I was supporting their business development goals, but I had my own team and I reported to the head of the law firm. So it was like, I was doing my own thing within you know, this environment that was really taking care of all the clients that they had. So it was, it ended up being a fantastic fit for me.
Laura Rotter
It's so interesting. I know some young people, contemporaries of my kids who are around 30, give or take, who are in paralegal positions. I've never heard anyone describe it as something they really enjoy. And certainly it sounds like, as you just described it, that you are already sort of using your entrepreneurial chops within a larger firm, which I'm imagining, you know, when you were twenties, it sounds like you were mature beyond your age, was there a role that you had within the family that had you someone?
Michele Lamoureux
I, I, like I said, I always had a sense of fairness and justice.
And so, right. Whether that was, you know. Making sure that the remote control, everyone had their fair turn of like creating rules and structure around that stuff, watching my parents work so hard. I watched them work so, so hard. And like I said, everything was in service to family. So I did have a sense of responsibility to want to have that life that they worked so hard to give.
And to your point about paralegals, I happen to be in a very young firm, so the founders were all still alive. It wasn't one of the ones that, you know, had been around a hundred years. And it was a really young and vibrant place where people really were kind and they did like what they did, you know, it was a, it was a nice environment.
So, and also I just think I love to work. And so anything that challenges my brain and allows me to be in service of others makes me happy. So all of that was I think why I enjoyed it. But for sure I have a sense of that sense of responsibility. I've always had that.
Laura Rotter
Right. And it's even beyond that, right?
Because it's a sense of leadership that you feel, yeah, you feel that it, it can fall upon you to go above and beyond what. Your role might have, you know, been on paper and luckily, or maybe not luckily, maybe that's why you took the position. It was in a small enough place that you could more of an organizational role within the firm.
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah. It was actually the ninth largest firm when I became the director and became the third largest in Boston by the time I left. So it was bigger. It was just young. I can't, it's hard to explain it. I mean, 300 lawyers, it was about 300 lawyers. Or 300 employees, maybe 300 lawyers. No, it wasn't small, but, but young and vibrant.
And I think everyone had that kind of can do attitude and really just seemed like, you know, it was just a hot, it was a nice place to be. It was a really nice place to be. So culture matters though. Like I'm thinking about those 30 year olds you're talking about. I interviewed at a couple of other places and I can guarantee you, I would have lasted about six months to a year and I would have been out of there. I could just, it was just not a, they're just not a fun culture.So culture matters in companies.
Laura Rotter
So Michelle, what, what changed that you decided to leave this firm? That sounds like it was a great place to work for. How long were you there?
Michele Lamoureux
Was there about eight years. The founder passed away. And I saw how important leadership is, and without it, how quickly an organization can crumble.
Within two years, it was gone. It had dissolved. And I, it was heartbreaking. You know what it was like? I, I always equate it to almost like a relationship. So like you're in love and everything's fantastic. And all of a sudden you're with this person and it's not great anymore. And you want it to be like how it was in the beginning.
It's just not, and it's never going to be, and your heart's broken, but you just keep working harder to make it to what it was. That's how it felt walking, every time the elevator doors would open in the morning after he died. The place was just slowly just becoming thistoxic place. And everyone was sort of out for themselves and trying to figure out where they fit and go to the partners.
I'm like, you need to talk to the associates. And you know, they're like, well, who's talking to me? And I'm like, well, you're the leadership now, like you need to come together. And so I stayed a year and a half out of loyalty to the founder and. Wanting to do the best I could and I just, I couldn't, like Sunday nights became, you know, you got, I would call it the Sunday night blues.
The last thing I wanted to do was get up and go to work. And I hadn't felt that. And I knew work could be joyful and it was not joyful anymore. So that's ultimately what made me go, it's, it's time, it's time to figure out the next act.
Laura Rotter
So what I'm hearing is that you actually took time off and didn't know exactly what you do in between. Is that correct?
Michele Lamoureux
I didn't do that exactly. As I knew I was getting, yes, but I, and, and I've done that and at times, which is added when I became a mom, I did do that, but I started my own consulting agency. I got certified as an empowerment coach in New York and, and went out on my own.
Laura Rotter
So that is very brave, right? That's not, you were no longer a W 2 income employee. You took the risk to go out on your own. I'm curious how you had the courage to do that. And also it wasn't. a move to do marketing as a consultancy, if I'm understanding correctly.
Michele Lamoureux
So it was both, it was initially marketing, but my heart was starting to get called to the coaching once I got certified as an empowerment coach.
So it was a transition as you know, nothing's a straight line. There's so many bumps in the road. I did the marketing and you know, that's easy and natural for me or it was at the time marketing's changed so much, but. At one point was like, I really want to do coaching. And I was, I had, uh, a guy I went to high school was within house was in house counsel for a real estate developer who needed to give a presentation.
And I loved teaching on that kind of stuff too. So I met with him and he ended up, he hired me. He's like, but I want you to do my marketing. I'm like, only if I can do coaching. So I was sort of, my title was like VP of organizational development and marketing, but it truly was just the marketing. And, you know, I had to figure things out as I, I went along.
But in terms of the risk taking, I think that's a part of my nature. Yeah. It wasn't so scary to me. And also I'm betting on myself, right? Laura, I'm not, I'm taking responsibility. And if I fail, then I fail and I get another job or, you know, you think what, what's the downside. The downside is what I could have stayed there and I would have just been there when it all literally just completely dissolved and had my heart broken even more of the loss of what that beautiful place had turned into. And here's the other thing. Okay. This is important. Actually, I'm realizing I had a huge amount of money saved.
I just remembered. Yes. I had the financial stability. I didn't have to work for a year, like three years. I'd be fine. Or maybe more, maybe like five. Like I was totally fine financially.
Laura Rotter
So that's part of it. But as you know…
Michele Lamoureux
No, that's the big part. That was a big part. In fairness to somebody out there, like I had money in the bank.
Laura Rotter
And I'm also hearing the through line of responsibility that you were not sort of leaping into an unknown, you're leaping knowing you're there for yourself, you're employable, you're responsible, you're good at what you do, and you have a cushion, so it wasn't as frightening as I think that's important to mention.
Michele Lamoureux
I'm realizing. Yeah, because I did have that. If I didn't have that. Yeah. I think I'd still do it, but I, I don't know, or I would have gotten a part time job. But that sense of responsibility, like you talked about, I may have been a little bit more practical. It depends. Although so many of the entrepreneurs I've interviewed on my show say you got to go all in. No plan Bs.
Laura Rotter
Interesting. And why coaching? You know, it sounds like when you started to do this, it was before coaching was as ubiquitous as it is now. What drew you into coaching?
Michele Lamoureux
I think like a lot of things when you meet somebody like, well, I was when I was at the executive search and meeting people who were doing marketing, it was like, Oh, that resonates with me. That sounds interesting. And at the time I actually had a friend who's being trained as a coach. And I was like, what's coaching? This sounds great. And I had felt a need to do more heart centered work. Like I was feeling that calling and this felt aligned with heart centered work. And so I made the investment in the coaching program.
It was in New York city. And when I was in it, I just felt so alive. And so that's always, to me, you know, when you're sort of on the right path, when Your whole body is giving a yes and it was giving a full on yes and I just I've always loved helping people and I'm a big picture person so it everything sort of made sense to me in terms of how I could put it into practice
Laura Rotter
And can you help orient us what year was that?
Michele Lamoureux
Let's, well, it was about 17 years ago that I went through the coaching program. I'm trying to think when I, I bought my condo in 2000. Does that sound right? I would have been 30 years old. I'm trying to do the math. And you're the, you're the math person. You do the math, Laura. And so, I think I just started dating my husband that, so it might've been like 2001, it was a long time ago.
Laura Rotter
So then how did that evolve? Because it sounds like it started off coaching employees within companies or partners within professional firms.
Michele Lamoureux
And that's when I took the pause, Laura, because then, though I did it for a few years, I did it for a few years and I got married at 36. I had my nest egg, and I became a first time mom at 38.
So at 38,I was still doing stuff. I actually launched a podcast at 38 when no one was podcasting. I give my husband credit for that one too. He, he was like, this is the next big thing. You know, you like to present, you like to help people. You're a coach. He made me a website and bought me my first mic and set me up on Christmas.
Literally, that was my Christmas present that year. And then I became pregnant with my daughter and I was kind of burnt out. I was like, I want to focus on being a mom. I, I don't really want to do both. And truthfully, I didn't have any role modeling for that. So that's where the sense of responsibility, the focus on family, I wanted to be that mirror for my daughter.
But truthfully, if I could go back and tell my younger self, anything would be, don't pull yourself out altogether. Don't pull the plug completely. My work self was such a huge part of me, and I basically just shut the door on her. And you can't really do that in a way that's good for your soul. But that's what we learn, right?
And that's why I relaunched my show. And it's really what drives a lot of what I do, because I think it's so easy for women to stop prioritizing themselves and to give to everyone else. and to get depleted and then kind of forget who they are, what matters or how to get started again. And, you know, and what's interesting, Laura, is there was one time where my mom, I think I was like in high school and my younger brother was, in middle school.
And my mom worked for a little bit at an accounting firm. And like I said, she had this great sense of fashion. And so it was so fun to see her in these beautiful suits. You know, that Barbie pink that's so in now, I still remember her. She rocked those. She was ahead of her time. Then she had this cool pink suit and her Navy suit with the blue and white, you know, blouse underneath.
And she looked fantastic. But what I remember about it, The part that I remember the most was she came home laughing every day. She was so happy in her work and it makes me a little bit emotional. It's really what drives the work that I do, because like I said, women are so quick to take a dream and say, well, I'll do it later.
Or my kids take priority or everyone else takes priority. And so I always imagined these different careers, whether she would have been a fashion designer or she's like very political, politically savvy, running a political campaign or, or something, you know, just something of her own. I think she would have been amazing, you know?
And so I saw that little and stayed with me. It just stayed with me about how happy she was to have had that thing of her own. But growing up, I didn't have that modeling of the mom that worked. Had the thing of her own and took care of the kids. So, and, you know, our situations for whatever particular reason are aligned in a certain way.
I never take it for granted. I'm super grateful. And yeah, like I said, we all have our different things that we, that we navigate, but that was not one of the ones that I, that I had to. And yeah, you know.
Laura Rotter
So thank you for acknowledging what a gift. Oh, I know that it's a gift.
Michele Lamoureux
Laura Rotter
Yeah, yeah, for sure. The parent that you had. So, Michelle, it's clear that you have gifts of creativity, of seeing the big picture, of leadership. How did you channel those gifts while you were home with your daughter?
Michele Lamoureux
So, I realized as a stay at home mom that drop off and pick up were like, not, and I'm a people person. I just dreaded it. And part of it, it was like, Being around all these amazing women and we're just, all we were talking about is I can't wait for the, you know, so when my daughter is so excited for the play date with your daughter and it was all this like sort of small talk and I can do small talk, but I, I like to go deep.
I like to know about someone. I sense that about you. You're really good at reading and understanding sort of the underlying themes about someone. And I was just. wanting more. And so I believe that we all have these inner knowings, these inner whispers, and they're talking to us all the time. And some of them, you know, get loud and some of them, we really need to pay attention to because we don't want them to just go away, that flame to just poof.
And so I, I could just hear it. It was like, Michelle, you need to prioritize yourself again, go back to school, find something. And I was always interested in nutrition. I got certified as a holistic health coach when my daughter was four. And then the program offered a class on how to self publish a book.
And I'd always wanted to write a book. So I wrote a book. And one of the things they said was that if you take this class and we're going to have a contest at the end of the 200 submissions, we're going to pick 10. You can win your thousand dollar tuition back and you can get Marie Forleo's B school, which is a 2,000 program.
I was like, okay, let me, let me throw 1, 000 at this thing and write this book and have this experience. And my book did get picked one of the 10 and it aligned myself. Like I remembered how I love to write. It reminded me, you know, I feel like you rediscover, you remember yourself, like there's a lot of talk about reinvention and I think for sure there's reinvention.
But I think a lot of reinvention is really at the heart of it is remembering. It's just remembering what makes you uniquely you. It's remembering what your gifts and talents are. Maybe those things that you take for granted.
And I remembered how I want to. poetry contest in fifth grade that wasn't a poetry contest. It was you had to write a story and I wrote a poem and my teacher told me how I did it all wrong. And he was so disappointed in me because it was a poem that I wrote when I was supposed to write a story. It was about a play we saw about kids with special needs.
And the poem ended up winning a citywide contest. I didn't even know we were entering. So like I call it the, maybe, maybe everyone calls it this, but the through line where, where you look back on your life and you realize how certain situations, certain experiences, certain memories, all of these things that you've done, even though they didn't.
disconnect and there were the road bumps and, you know, the roadblocks and the things that didn't work out and the things that did that sort of brought you to where you are today and how it all connects to align, align you again. Anyway, I feel like I've gone too long, so let me stop there.
Laura Rotter
So you published the book, you found B School. I also enrolled in Marie Forleo's B School, never finished it, though I did, back every year.
Michele Lamoureux
Me too. I do too. And I do a little bit more and a little bit more. I mean, we're like 10 years later and I'm still doing a little bit more, but Yes. But it was the more of like the, yeah, the, the taking the risk and having it, and even if I hadn't, and I published the book, I saw it was about self-publishing. It was important for me to like start getting back out there. But Laura, truthfully, I wasn't valuing myself in the same way. I didn't promote the book. I didn't tell people about the book. I didn't do anything. And you know what the book is about? Self love.
Laura Rotter
So it's not Design a Life You Love, it was a book you wrote previously?
Michele Lamoureux
No, it is that. Design a Life You Love is all about self love as the foundation for a good life. And the book kind of, just like the poem, it flowed through me. It was, I think we often teach what we need to embody and learn ourselves. And so it's taken me, I wrote it 10 years ago. I finally get it. I finally, I finally get self love, like really embody it.
Like it's the journey sometimes. Sometimes it's instant, but instantaneous. And sometimes it's a longer road to believing in yourself and feeling you're worthy and feeling you're worthy. Yeah, it's interesting when you go on a different path. And I admire women who just go full on in and they believe in themselves and they feel that sense of like entitlement, like, yeah, I'm going to do this.
I had that more working for others or within a space that was like so familiar versus when I stepped out. on my own in a different way.
So, you know, yes, you can take the risk. It doesn't mean that the path is totally smooth.
Laura Rotter
I actually think, Michelle, that a lot of women have difficulty, both in corporate settings.
So maybe you had that inner knowing that you work hard and take on responsibility and are recognized. And it seemed, you know, the, the guideposts are not as clear as an entrepreneur as you're talking about. Still, I find women tend to have, be perfectionists and are very hard on, on themselves. I mean, we have, pretty terrible self talk most of the time.
We would never talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves. And so I think that you are speaking for, you know, perhaps some of the women who are listening in terms of really loving ourselves and being our own cheerleaders is not something that comes naturally.
Michele Lamoureux
No, but it's something that we can teach ourselves to do, and it's something that I do all the time now.
I am truly, I can confidently say from every ounce of my being, and I couldn't even have said this at 50, I am truly my best friend and champion. I am truly, something shifted in me, and it was interesting, it was after an interview I did on my podcast. It's a, it's interesting. It was with a therapist actually, and she did like this little mini session and something shifted in me, Laura.
It was interesting. It was like, oh, I get it now. I get it. And I, I mean, if this is helpful, I don't know, but. An exercise someone can do is to go back to a time in your life where you really needed that best friend, whether it was a heartbreak, loss, betrayal, something, a trauma, and you felt aloneand nobody was there for you, including yourself.
You can go back, sit comfortably, breathe, bring yourself back into that space. and imagine yourself next to you. So if you're a little girl, you're imagining your adult self next to you. And if you're an adult, it's still your, it's you now and you bring the love and you tell it can literally, you don't have to write it.
You can just say it in your heart. I'm so sorry that you went through this. You're so lovable just as you are. I'm so sorry you didn't have someone there for you. I'm here for you now. And you can give yourself that healing. And that's what I've been doing. And I literally, and the other day I was falling back into the pattern of the negative self talk.
I'm like, no, I don't do that anymore. No, there's just not room for that here. You're doing the best you can. And that's good enough. You're doing the best you can and it's good enough. Yeah. And anyone, this is for anyone now, you know what I mean? Like I said, we teach what we need to learn. It's taken me a long time to get here.
It's taken me a long time, but I get it now. Like it took me a long time. I journal and I'd say, God, what do I need to know? And it'd be like, love yourself. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I love myself. Tell me, like, how do I make money? How do I get to the next achievement? You know, love yourself. And I'm like, I don't understand what what are you saying? I don't I do. I love myself. No, I get it now. I really get it.
Laura Rotter
Thank you for sharing that practice. And I do think. You know, I will sometimes take my hand and place it on my heart or even, which is like really very hokey, but take my hand and place it on my cheek, you know, like sweetheart. It's, it's okay. It's okay. We tend to identify what we'd like to change. and speak to ourselves harshly as opposed to from a place of love. And I too, I, I will look in the mirror and make eye contact with myself and speak to myself. And, and I know that's not always comfortable for people to do. I sometimes say maybe start rather than talking to a dog or some pet. It's somehow easier for us to show love to a pet than it is. to our younger selves. And so find, as you just said, Michelle, the practice
that works.
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah. And pay attention to that inner chatter. Pay attention because some of it is so habitual. You don't even know how mean you are being to yourself until you start paying attention.
You're like, Oh yeah. Yeah, and I did that the other day too, where I was like, you don't even know what to do next or something. I was like, no, that's not true. No, no. And I looked in the mirror. No, you'll figure it out. You've got this, you know, just like we would, the way we would talk to a best friend. We would never.
Friends going through a hard time. What are you doing? You're making a mess of your life. Could you imagine? Gosh, we'd have no friends. So we need to befriend ourselves and really be so kind to ourselves.
Laura Rotter
So if people are interested in learning more practices for learning to be kinder to themselves, would you recommend the book in addition to your podcast? Where can they have access to resources from you?
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah, I do do Monday Musings on my show at times where a lot of it is directed around more of the self love. But yes, the goodlifecoach.com has the podcast, it has access to the book. And honestly, I would also just offer that, you know, people just spend some time listening to what their heart is whispering to them.
Spend time journaling five, 10 minutes a day, you know, just connecting, getting clear about what do you really want? We're so clear about what everyone else in our lives needs and we're focused on that, but what do you want? What do you want? And just get connected to your truth and give a little bit to yourself, figure out ways to add yourself back in.
And it's the simple things. And actually on my site right now, I've got 52 self care tips. And I think self love and self care sort of go hand in hand, but the self love is. is the foundation. The self love is, you know, what we're talking about is how you're treating yourself and the self care of those just, I think it's important.
Laura Rotter
All right. And culturally though, we're trained to cringe perhaps when we hear this concept of self love. No, that's, you know, as though you're, you're spending time taking care of yourself and no one else. And, and there's a a certain amount of guilt involved. And I love the idea of. being quiet enough to actually hear our own still small voice, which is also countercultural, Michelle, of we're so busy checking things off our to do list and running from thing to thing to that we aren't in touch with what it is that is you said lights us up.
It's that is also a practice to take time, whether it's perhaps if you're a runner, you might find it as you know, in the rhythm of running. It doesn't have to be meditation, which, you know, is something that. I do routinely, but somehow find time to make space. Go walk your dog and don't listen to a podcast, something.
Michele Lamoureux
Yeah. Infuse your day with joy. Just infuse little things. Like I have a commute now for my daughters to get her to high school. I'm in the car two hours a day and my brain that loves to learn and to accomplish. And it was like, Oh my gosh, I need to learn a language I need to do. And so I connect with friends.
Sometimes it's silence, sometimes it's a podcast, sometimes it's fun music, you know, it's just infusing, like just surrendering a little bit more. And you're right. Culturally, we're not, it's not, especially the American culture. It's not celebrated. You know, this idea of prioritizing yourself is supposed to be selfish.
It's not, it's not, it's literally the foundation for everything you desire in your life. And I believe we come from love and we return to love and we are here to remember to love ourselves and honor what we truly, truly want.
Laura Rotter
Amen.
Michele Lamoureux
Amen.
Laura Rotter
So, Michelle, as we get towards the end of our conversation, how has your definition of success shifted over these years and perhaps even financial success?
Michele Lamoureux
Oh, and financial success? Well, it's interesting because I used to ask my guests this too, what is your definition of success? I do think success is very personal. I think for me, it's being present to the moment. It's not getting lost in what we were talking about, just the accomplishment and all this stuff.
It's really being able to sit and appreciate what's in front of you right now. And for me, that's my husband, my daughter, my dog, the people I love. Success is knowing that you can find that peace and gratitude. In the moment that you're in that to me is success and financially, I did an exercise with a breathing coach recently where we wrote a letter.
You might like this, Laura. It was a dear money letter and you had to write a letter to money as if it was a romantic partner and. I realized that I have had a lovely love affair with money and that I had actually betrayed it because at some point when I went out on my own and my husband's an entrepreneur, all this scarcity thinking came in.
And so success as it relates to money is it's a surrender and a trust in yourself and a higher power that you are being guided and to stay aligned and true toallowed yourself to be back in that flow.
Laura Rotter
Yes. I love the word surrender. And especially in the context of, of faith that everything will be okay.
I, um, once tried to communicate that to someone who didn't quite understand what I meant. And, This was, you know, around the time I was leaving Wall Street and I said, you know, I know everything will be okay and they looked at me quizzically like you'll be able to hold on to your house and I said, no, not at all.
I'm not saying I have faith that nothing will change. We're constantly changing. Life is about change. I just know deep inside that whatever the change is, I will be okay. And that's also something that needs to be cultivated, right?
Michele Lamoureux
It does. It's, I think having faith in something higher also does allow you to have more peace of mind and more joy because you're not, you know, sometimes when things are too big, it's, I just, I say, God, I'm turning this over.
And I, you know, and be respectful and audience, you know, whatever your belief system. But for me, it is God. And I'll just say, and now my hands on my heart too, Laura, like you said before, but I do that and I'd say, I need help. I'm looking for guidance. I turn this over and I'm able to sleep in a way that I wouldn't have been able to in other times in my life.
And I'm grateful for that too. I think, you know, maybe that comes with time and age and experiences. Where you can just, sometimes you just have to turn it over and surrender and just say, you know what? And I get signs. We've talked about this before, but I literally see signs that I'm being heard. So I, I look for those.
So look for the signs. They, in my case, they sometimes literally come in on license plates or billboards on the side of the road. So I think, I think the universe has a sense of humor. Look for the signs.
Laura Rotter
Beautiful. I'm coming away with joy and surrender and look for the signs. Michelle, is there anything else that you want to say to our listeners before we end?
Michele Lamoureux
I would say that for anyone listening now, You are lovable just as you are, you are worthy, you are good enough and your heart knows the answers to what you're seeking. Have the faith and spend some time with yourself and know that you are worthy of love and to give yourself that love.
Laura Rotter
Thank you so much, Michelle. This is really an inspiring conversation.
I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Michelle Lamoureux. Host of the podcast, The Good Life with Michelle Lamoureux. Some of my takeaways are to be willing to bet on yourself. Michelle left the dream job she had for many years as director of marketing for a law firm. It didn't feel like a risk to her when our heart began to be called to coachingbecause she knew that she was responsible.
She was a hard worker. And that if she failed, she could always get another job. And just as importantly, Michelle knew that she had a big financial cushion.That she had money in the bank that could tide her over if things didn't work out. My second takeaway, remember what makes you uniquely you. What your gifts and talents are.
Often, we take our unique talents for granted because they come so easily to us.Look back at your life for the through line, the situations, the experiences and memories that maybe didn't seem connected at the time, but brought you to where you are today.Michelle was in a program to be certified as a holistic health coach, which offered a class on how to self publish a book.
The experience reminded her of how she had loved to write when she was younger.She wrote a book about self love and received an award. from the class. My third takeaway, pay attention to your inner chatter. We may not notice until we start paying attention just how mean our inner talk is and so habitual.
If we talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves, we'd have no friends. We need to befriend ourselves.
And finally, spend some time listening to what your heart is whispering to you. Make a habit of journaling five, ten minutes a day to connect and get clear about what you truly want.
We're so clear about what everyone else in our lives needs, and we're focused on that.But what do you want? Get connected to your truth.
And give you a little bit to yourself, figure out ways to add yourself back into your life. Are you enjoying this podcast? Please don't forget to subscribe so you won't miss next week's episode and to help other women like you find this show, please leave a rating and a review if you're enjoying it. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Narrator
Thanks for listening to Making Change With Your Money. Certified Financial Planner, Laura Rotter specializes in helping people just like you, organized, clarify, and invest their money in order to support a life of purpose and meaning. Go to www.trueabundanceadvisors.com/workbook for a free resource to help you on your journey.
Disclaimer, please remember that the information shared by this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment, or financial advice. It's for information purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.