A conversation with Monica Bodurka, co-founder of the Leadership Wellness Group. Monica specializes in helping busy individuals prioritize their health and wellness in the face of today’s hyper-scheduled, 24/7, competitive work environment.
Are you feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Craving more ease, joy, and resilience in your life? Then take a deep breath and join us for a soul-soothing conversation with Monica Bodurka, resilience expert, executive coach, and author of A New Way to Be. Monica's gentle wisdom and practical micro-practices will help you navigate the storms of midlife with grace and find your center amidst the chaos. Whether you're facing a career crossroads, relationship shifts, or simply seeking a more fulfilling life, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on embracing change and cultivating inner peace. Listen in and discover how a few simple breaths can transform your life.
In this episode, Monica shares her personal journey from striving for external validation to embracing a life of joy and ease. She explores the impact of family money stories on our relationship with abundance, the importance of aligning your work with your values, and how to break free from the hustle culture that leaves so many women feeling depleted. Discover the power of micro-practices, the transformative magic of breathwork, and how to cultivate resilience not through grit and pushing through, but through presence, self-compassion, and a deep connection to your inner wisdom.
Key Takeaways:
💡 Midlife Resilience: Learn how to navigate the unique challenges of midlife with grace and resilience.
💡 Stress Management: Discover practical micro-practices for managing stress and overwhelm in daily life.
💡 Breathwork for Well-being: Explore the transformative power of breathwork for calming the nervous system and cultivating inner peace.
About Monica: Monica Bodurka is a passionate advocate for well-being and resilience. As co-founder of the Leadership Wellness Group and a seasoned executive coach, she brings a wealth of experience to guiding individuals and organizations towards thriving. Her holistic approach, integrating elements of yoga therapy, breathwork, and mindfulness, offers a unique and powerful path to navigating the challenges of modern life. Monica's book, A New Way to Be, provides practical tools and micro-practices for cultivating resilience and finding ease in every moment.
Get in touch with Monica:
Monica's book: A New Way To Be
Free Guide to Coaching Resilience
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Get your free copy of Unlock Your Money Blocks Workbook: Your step-by-step guide to unlocking your blocks to financial freedom.
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment or financial advice. It’s for informational purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.
Laura Rotter
Are you tired of living in a state of constant overwhelm, feeling like you're perpetually running on empty? I know you're juggling work, family relationships, and all the demands of modern life, and it's leaving you feeling depleted, stressed, and disconnected from your true self. You've tried time management techniques, productivity hacks.
Even escaping into distractions, hoping to find a sense of calm amidst the chaos. Perhaps you've explored mindfulness apps, meditation practices, or even sought therapy. You're searching for that elusive feeling of peace and wellbeing. But what if the key to resilience isn't about adding more to your already overflowing plate, but about cultivating a deep connection to your inner resources?
Starting with the simple act of breathing. My guest today. Monica bka, co-founder of the Leadership Wellness Group, and author of a new Way to be discovered this profound truth after years of striving, achieving, and ultimately burning out. Growing up in an immigrant family with a strong work ethic, Monica learned early on that success meant hustling, pushing through, and constantly striving.
But it was only when she stepped away from her prestigious career that she began to explore the true meaning of resilience, not grit or toughness, but a deep seated capacity to stay centered amidst the storms of life. Listen and hear Monica's inspiring story and discover how micro practices, especially breath work.
Work can transform your relationship with stress, unlock your inner resilience, and create a life of greater ease, joy, and wellbeing.
Narrator
Welcome to Making Change with Your Money, a podcast that highlights the stories and strategies of women who experienced a big life transition and overcame challenges as they redefined financial success for themselves.
Now, here's your host, certified Financial Planner. Laura Rodder,
Laura Rotter
Welcome Monika to the Making Change With Your Money podcast.
Monika Bodurka
Thank you, Laura. I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm very excited, um, for our conversation.
Laura Rotter
Me too. So I will start, as I always do with the question. Monica, what was money like in your family growing up?
Monika Bodurka
So, I, I, I come from an immigrant family. And, um, although we never wanted for anything, um, we, I grew up firmly rooted in the middle class. Um, money always felt, um. Even though it wasn't scarce, like it was scarce and like you had to work hard for it. And, um, there wasn't an ease. We, we, we talked right before we hit play about ease.
Yeah. So that wasn't there. And, um, and, and it's what makes me think is. It makes me realize it's not about how much money you have, it's the energy around the money. Right. Because like I said, when I look at my parents and how well they've done for themselves as immigrants coming to this country, uh, before I was born, I mean there should have been ease.
You know, my parents, my mother was a full-time teacher. My father worked for a big company. They have pension. Like there should have been ease, and yet there wasn't. So anyway.
Laura Rotter
Right. Everybody comes with their own money stories, right? Mm-hmm. So it probably reflected how they grew up. That's right. And, um, as you reflect back and we talk about, as you said, ease and stress, what kind of impact did that have on you?
Monika Bodurka
Well, you know, it, it causes fear. And it causes this. I've done, you know, both my siblings and I, we've, we've really thought about abundance and, and finances a lot. And what, um, that energy, it's an energy, um, the impact it had and, and it, it causes a scarcity mindset. It causes, you know, you and I were talking about.
You feel you have to hustle, you feel you have to really work hard. I think on some level. Um, you know, and I, and I think of my, my father, you know, there was a feeling that it was his way to prove himself in a new country was my, so you had to work, work, work and do, do, do as opposed to even, you know, and put away that money as opposed to, and enjoying it.
Um, and celebrating it. And celebrating the fact that, you know, there is security. Um, so yes, so, so what did it cause it caused all that, that. We had this feeling, and I say my brother, my siblings, and I, that we had to hustle, that we had to work hard. Um, that money, you know, the whole money doesn't grow on trees.
Um, all, all that, all that good stuff.
Laura Rotter
And that's unique as you, not unique. That's right. As Monica, especially in immigrant Yeah. Families. Um, that there is pressure felt by the next generation, right. Um, from the parents to, you know, that they are sacrificing for you, so you need to achieve, uh, yeah. Was there a sense, was education valued clearly?
Monika Bodurka
Oh, absolutely. So it
was, it was all, again, typical, typical, you know, again, textbook stuff, right? So yes, we were all supposed to be extremely successful. Um, my father, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and we all like, we did, like we did what? Actually, my brother rebelled. He was like, I'm gonna do the opposite.
And, you know, became an artist and, um, oh, interesting. And, you know, you know, but it was interesting. But we were supposed to be, uh, lawyers, doctors, engineers who were high performing and it wasn't, you know, and, and it wasn't my mother as much as my dad, but, you know, very much wanted. And we, because we did well in school, it was like, okay, you.
Supposed to do this and this, and my father, he worked for General Motors and he said, well. Well, you should be the CEO of General Motors. I don't wanna do this. And it was only later that I was like, that's not what I wanna do. Like I really would not want to be the CEO of General Motors, but in my head I was like, okay, if I'm not, if I'm not a doctor and I'm not a lawyer, well I guess that's what I have to do.
And, and I, I did an MBA, uh, you know, I, I, I. Did all that and, and at one point woke up saying, well, hold on a second. What do I love? What do I wanna do? Um, so, so, yes. Um, yeah. Again, typical, typical, uh, typical story, not, uh,
Laura Rotter
Monika. Yeah. I love the way you've said one day you woke up.
Monika Bodurka
Mm-hmm.
Laura Rotter
Because that's been my experience, but my day, waking up.
I was already in my fifties. So it sounds like you were younger. Was there a catalyst? What woke you up?
Monika Bodurka
Um, know it's interesting. I mean, there's so many little things. I mean, I was always drawn thanks to my mother actually to, you know, sort of, um. For lack of a better term, what we would call now self-help kind of literature.
And I loved it and, and spiritual literature and you know, so I remember. You know, at a very young age, um, reading Think and Grow Rich. Right. And, um, you know, I, I was in high school, you know, reading some of these books. Um, but I think when I woke up, 'cause I was still very much an achiever and wanted to, you know, I actually think maybe it's not just, I was gonna say women in particular, um, but maybe it really is for men as well.
You know, you're taught. Early on, you know, and I see this in my girls. My girls are teenagers. They're 15 and 13, and they're taught at school. You know, you have to, you know, to be a good student, you have to do this and this and this and this, and you listen to your parents, and you listen to your teachers and you do what society, you do those assignments.
You don't think about, well, what do I actually want to do? You, there's, those courses aren't even chosen for you in the beginning. So I, you know, I did that and I was very good at. And some people say it's a birth order thing. So I was the oldest child, so I was very good at being, being good, right. Doing well in school, overachieving in school, um, and just climbing those ladders, right.
And got a lot of positive reinforcement for that. But it was when I went into the workforce having graduated, you know, top of my classes and, and then, you know, doing an MBA and again graduating. Everything was great. And it was in the job that I was like. Oh, God, this is really boring. I don't, I don't like this.
Right? I, this isn't what, this isn't what I want to do. This isn't sparkling for me. This isn't as, um. Uh, fulfilling. I, I'm feeling the days are really long and, um, so I, I started, I said no, and, and I remember, um, and this is, I actually, maybe I wrote about it in my book. I, I remember the moment when I, I actually.
My first real job was actually working. I got, um, uh, I was working first as an intern at the Canadian High Commission in London, England, so it sounds really great, right? So I'm working, you know, London, England High Commission. Really great. Perfect. Right.
Laura Rotter
Sounds good. Um, what is that though? I like…
Monika Bodurka
It's the embassy. So because we are a constitutional monarchy in Canada. Ah, true. So it, we don't call it the embassy, it's it, it's the high commission. So basically, um, working at the, the Canadian Embassy in London.
Laura Rotter
So, and you're doing, I'm curious like what the MBA training? 'cause you could be in marketing, you could be in finance.
Monika Bodurka
Right. So what I was doing is, is really, I was. They were, this is silly, not a silly project. Whatever they were looking for, it was basically market research. Okay. Right. So that's what I was basically doing. Thank you. Um. But it was, it was interesting. And um, and then I had an opportunity open up, so my director said, listen, there's an opportunity for basically full-time employment back in Canada, in Ottawa, um, our, our, um, uh, you know, so anyways, I, I, I said, okay, I'll take it.
'cause I could have stayed there, but I thought, oh, this is great. This is full-time work in our nation's capital. Perfect. So I did that and then, um. You know, got this position, which again was great, but I, I found it, um, not, um, fulfilling. And so I remember, you know, I was really young still, and you know, again, my parents were like, this is great.
This is the federal government. It's a good, it was a, a, it was a, a management role. I was asked by my, um, by my director if I wanted to, um. Participate in, it's like an eight year program where you do two years in different departments and by the end you can be sort of on track for an executive position.
So all of this sounded great and it sound, it felt like death though. It felt so dull to me and so much to my parents'. Chag grin. I quit that job. I just, I just completely, I quit after three years and ordered. And it came as a big binder, a Tony Robbins, um, course. And, um, and, and, and literally it was, you know, this was not an online course at the time.
It was like a big. Binder and I, I think, and there were CDs and I think I could call in, uh, to, for some like conference phone calls. And it was really the first time when I started looking at what is it that I want? Like what really? And what, what are jobs? I really like, what really sparkled for me, what's been fun?
What's been fun? Not what I had to do or what I should do, or where I get positive reinforcement, but what's been fun? What's where? Where have I felt relaxed? Where have I felt my authentic self? And who is my authentic self? Because I've carved myself into this person. That society or whatever, what, you know, that society gives accolades for.
Yeah. Right. Like I could, I could do that. And I, again, I did well in the job. I did well in the school. So who was that? And, and you know, it, it's an ongoing process. I'm still there 20 odd, odd years later. Right. But that was the first time where I really was like, okay. And that's when I woke up and that's when I started searching and seeking and, and then found jobs.
That were more in alignment. 'cause that's when I discovered, and I actually at the time, this is the outcome of doing that whole course, and I did it all, um, was I came up with a title for myself, which was Human Potential Development Consultant. I had never heard, coaching wasn't an industry yet. So then I, I actually joined, um, coach coaching you, uh, coach University.
And it was like the first coaching certification. In the world, I think, and I, again, it was call ins. You would call in once a week for these courses. But I remember I was like, okay, I wanna be a human potential development consultant. And I had no idea what that meant or how that would look. Um, but uh, but yeah, so long story.
Laura Rotter
But thanks for the long story. Monika. I want to first of all just note that. That was very brave and, um, especially given the very clear, dominant message that you got from your parents and you were the oldest. So that sense of responsibility that an eldest has. And, um, so, uh. You might make it sound easier than it really must have been.
Being young and making that decision. Perhaps your parents, I don't know what your parents' reaction was like. I'm also curious what role, if any, um. Money, finances played in that decision. Did you had, did you have savings? How?
Monika Bodurka
No. Well, I mean, I had a little bit, I had a little bit of savings. I think. I, I think…
Laura Rotter
Were you living at home?
Monika Bodurka
I mean, no, no, no, no. My parents were living four hours away. I wasn't living at home. I mean, I probably wouldn't have been able to make that decision if I was living at home. I'd like no way. Interesting. That's true. Even though I was like in my twenties. Um, so no, I was not living at home. I was. Um, I was on my own.
I had an apartment. I, um, yeah, I had all kinds of payments, a car and this and that, right? So, so it wasn't, um, I was single. Um, so, so it really was, um, I. You know, I, I read somewhere, um, I don't know if at the time, but it's like, you know, you have to, if you jump off a cliff, you know one of two things will happen.
Um, you know, either, um, you will find a branch to hang off of on the side or, or you know, you'll grow angel wings. Right? Which was, again, kind of cheesy, but this idea was like, you're not gonna die. This isn't gonna, like, I thought. And in a way I, I knew, I guess subconsciously, although I wouldn't have wanted to, I could have just gone back and moved in with my parents.
Right? So I did have that safety net. Have a safety net. Um, even though, you know, my father would probably be like, what did you do? Such a good job? You know, this was so good.
Laura Rotter
Right. You could also, you knew you were employable, but in a way, but
Monika Bodurka
I knew, I mean, I, I, I did right. And I had great references and that sort of thing, but I, I did feel, um, you know, um, as I'm, I'm.
As I'm talking to you, I'm looking at a book here. I have bookshelf, I love books. So I had a book of, uh, Wayne Dyers who, um, yeah, you, you know, and I have all his books. And I remember he had a chapter in one of his books saying, you know, don't die with your music still inside of you. And so that was, that was a big mantra for me is I was like, I have to, I can't find another job or find what I really.
Love to do if I'm spending all my time doing this other job. Um, so, so that was, um, yeah, that was, that was the impetus.
Laura Rotter
Um, thank you for sharing that. And I'm curious why coaching is it that you wanted to teach what you yourself needed to learn? What was it about your skillset and who you are as a person that drew you to coaching?
Monika Bodurka
Well, it was interesting, so I then didn't go into coaching for 20 years. So what I did is, what I, I realized though, is I loved this idea of human potential and excellence and, and, and I also found a home in education. I used to always say education found me. I didn't find it. So I end up, um. Working in various, um, sort of educational institutions.
Um, and most recently before I started my own business, worked at the University of Toronto in executive education. So I was designing leadership programs, right? I was designing and working with faculty and working with colleagues to create programs that were, um. Uh, not just informational, but transfer transformational.
So the idea of, you know, doing things differently. And that's where actually, um, you know, now I teach a lot on resilience and that's where resilience really came. Um, sort of really came to my focus. 'cause I'm also very, very interested and in a holistic approach to, uh. You know. Potential. Right? So it's, it's, uh, it's all, it's our, it's our health, it's our mental health, our physical health, our emotional health, our spiritual, all of that.
But what I realized at the time, so I'd be working, uh, focus testing with these leaders and C-suite CEOs and boards of directors, and at the time, you know, the question was, you know, what do leaders need in the 21st century? You know, what does success, what do we need for success? What's kind of that?
What's the chemistry of success? What is it? And that word resilience, two words kept coming up and one was resilience and the other was humility. And I found those really fascinating, right? Humility. And I get humility now more than I did that with the disruption that we see and just the sort of the.
Chaotic nature of our world. You know, leaders do not know, have all the answers. Like when you think about like, when I grew up, you know, a leader, it was more command and control. Yes. Right. It was, uh, the leader knows the answer. You follow the leader, um, and. You don't question it, right? So the leader was supposed to be the great communicator, the strategic thinker.
They had the answers. Whereas now the leader actually is a facilitator who is in a way, you know. Having to create an environment that pulls that information and greatness from others so that, you know, to, to, to, to innovate, to create and weather the storms and, and, you know, stay ahead of the curve in a way.
Right. So very different. So, but I, at the time when that word humility, I was like, oh, interesting. Right. And then resilience. We looked at each other and we thought, well that's really interesting. I get it again, because of the stress and that chaotic environment and the constant change and disruption and ambiguity and uncertainty and just chaos.
And you know, when you think about our world, you know, the resilience to stay centered in that storm. Right. Um, but how do we, you know, at the time everybody said, well, how do we, how do we, how do we teach this? Right? What is this? Right? Um, and uh, and then COVID made it very apparent. Suddenly the word resilience became the word during, became a buzzword for sure.
Um, so yeah. I don't even remember what the question was anymore off.
Laura Rotter
Well, I had asked, you know, um, in my interest in getting to know who you are, Monica, and you said you, your journey was to. Use, bring who you are to the work that you do in the world and the work that you do. I, I came at it from coaching.
You said you never actually coached, but how did you come, I mean, U of T is a very well respected institution. How did you come to be someone, um, working with and for that institution and what drove you to have the role that you just described? Um. From someone who quit a job and Yeah. And listen to, uh,
Monika Bodurka
so, so yeah, you, it's, it's all a journey, right?
So I think what it was is, you know, realizing what things, you know, choosing jobs more that light you up as opposed to Yes. Um, ones that didn't because, so that's what I, you know, did for 20 odd years. Right. And yeah. So what lit you up about it, I guess? Um, so again, when I was working suddenly now, and, and, and again, there was a process I didn't.
Get to that job right away, but Right. You know, when I was working as a director creating leadership programs, all of a sudden I, I had the capacity. I, I was involved, I was working in human potential development. Right. I was like, oh, this is what, right. This is what we're teaching here we're, it's a world class organization where we're bringing, you know, the latest thinking and, and.
Uh, to, to leaders who can cascade this information out through their organizations, and I had an incredibly inspirational motivational. Wonderful boss who, you know, inspired us to think differently and try new things. And so I loved it. I loved it. Um, that was great. So yeah, so that's how I, so suddenly I was able to be in a job that I was, it was closer, but it wasn't still a hundred percent it.
And I found myself in this kind of, um. I mean, I, I found myself still, you know, uh, balancing, you know, trying to suddenly not walking the talk, right. So, because I, I, at the time I had younger kids and I wanted to, to get more into, um, I think a holistic, I wanted to go a little deeper on the content, um, piece and, uh.
So then, then I end up stepping away. And then I did, then I did do health coaching. I did become a coach. I, um, I became, I first took a, a yoga teacher training, then I became a yoga therapist. I studied nutrition. I, you know, I, I, I did all those things. 'cause I felt like, uh, I felt like I wanted to, yeah, to, to help.
And I, I was seeing a lot of suffering. People too. So it's like how do we alleviate that suffering? Right? And now what I see is, you know, that burnout, overwhelm that hustle culture, right? That hustle culture. So I, I say I'm healing from the hustle, um, right. This is why I need my book A new way to be. Right?
So that's a gentler way. Um, you know, an easier way, um, a more compassionate way. Um, and it's not the way our, our society necessarily teaches us to be.
Laura Rotter
Thank you. I'm, I'm listening to you share about your journey, and you've already said that you're a lifelong learner as you look at the books on your shelves, so I can see that you love to learn and bring different modalities to your work.
I. Was trying to parse out is your work more about your interpersonal skills or both, or your creativity and your ability to sort of develop new ways of approaching things? Trying again to say like, who's Monica? What's like, as I look at myself as an example, I. I'm an introvert. I do love interacting with people and I work a lot with numbers.
So there's a part of me that gets, um, energy from sitting and parsing through numbers. Um, so where do you get energy from, clearly from learning and where else?
Monika Bodurka
Yeah. So where do I get an I? I, um, so you said you're an introvert. I on, when I do all those Myers-Briggs tests, I fall. Like smack in the middle of extrovert, introvert.
So I, I get energy. I love, I love this conversation. I love connecting with people. I love teaching. Yeah, I love it. I think that was part of the thing when I was at U of T and you know, the other directors and I, we would often coach the faculty members. Often, many of them trained at Harvard 'cause we would be the one who knew what the clients needed and wanted.
So we'd be coaching them on. You know what the content should be. And I was jealous that I didn't get to teach it. I wanted to do that, right? So I was like, oh. Um, so I love, I love teaching. I love connecting with people. I love actually creating as well. So, you know, working with. I, I have some colleagues that I run my business with and, um, you know, co-instructor, um, you know, a dear friend that, you know, I, who came with, she also worked at U of T.
So, you know, when that brainstorming is really fun. Creating, innovating, all of that, you know, and, and, um. Yeah, even with my assistant, so all of, so I, I think I get energy both from people and engaging with people, but also that quiet time recharging, reading that book, um, walking in nature, uh, doing the breath work, um, restoring my nervous system, um, from, from our environment.
So.
Laura Rotter
So, yeah, thank you Monika, for helping me get a better, and, and our listeners get a better sense of who you are. So if you could please share with us now what are you doing now that you have your own business?
Monika Bodurka
Mm-hmm. So. Um, gosh, what am I doing now? So, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm, I'm living, um, I wanna say I'm a human potential development consultant.
Okay. Um, but, uh, I, I still aspire. I, I, I hope, I hope I inspire people. So what I do is, um, uh, we run, I say weak 'cause there's, there's a couple of us programs on resilience and, you know, resilience. Um, so yes, programs on resilience. Coaching on resilience. Wrote a book on resilience. And again, it wasn't a word I actually liked in the beginning 'cause it sounded like a gritty toughness.
I, I wasn't drawn to it at all. Um, so, but when I dove into the research, I found out, oh my goodness. Um, you know, resilience isn't about grit or pushing through or that hustle. In fact, um, resilience is. What we talked about earlier, being able to stay centered in the storm, right? It's like, I, I akin to, you know, when you see that, that, that, um, yogi who's smiling, just sitting calmly even though there's, there's ca like, you know, that there's a, there's a, a centeredness, a calmness, um, and in my programs I akin to things like shock absorbers in a car.
So those bumps in the road are there. And, and often we don't foresee those bumps. Um, but having resilience is, is again, like having those shock absorbers. So those bumps aren't as bumpy. Right. Um, another analogy I use, it's like having a, a charged battery. Um, so just like on our phones, if you don't charge your battery.
The phone's gonna die. So same thing. So an individual who has a charge battery has more energy to be able to respond to stressors, to, to keep their prefrontal cortex online, right? So, um, so I do a lot of work and, and we teach a lot on the nervous system. Um, so, so again, this idea of being able to keep your, your.
Nervous system, calm and reset so that then your body doesn't go into fight or flight, and then that prefrontal cortex disengages and suddenly everything you need to be rational and creative is gone. Right? Um, so yeah, so that's, that's what I do work with organizations and individuals to offer this kind of programming in a, in a chaotic world.
Laura Rotter
Right.
And, uh, I guess, could you share with us who you do your best work with? I mean, you said broadly individuals and organizations, but can you be more specific?
Monika Bodurka
Sure.
To people who might say, this sounds interesting to me.
Monika Bodurka
Yeah. So it's interesting. So one of the. Who do I, I'm just trying to think what, what I said earlier in terms of, you know what, what's fun?
So I, we have a program, um, for coaches. Um Huh, interesting. And yes, and it's, uh, it's a program that's like accredited by the International Coach Federation, and it's a program that is, it's like hybrid, right? So part of it's online, uh, but then we have these three live sessions where we come together as a community of practice.
Oh, and it draws people from all around the world, which is really exciting for me. We have our last cohort, which is the 16th offering of the program. We had people from Italy, from uh France, from Germany, from Qatar, all over the us. Um, and some from Canada and, uh, you know, people from Israel from all walks of life, um, who are either already executive coaches or life coaches, or they're having coaching conversations with their staff and, um, so they're, you know, people, managers, for lack of a better word.
And so we'll come together as a community of practice and, you know, talking about how to help people deal with. Overwhelm, burnout, um, you know, how to help people, um, move from suffering to wellbeing. Um, and it's, you know, it, it really energizes me because it's, I, I laugh that we're, we're starting a movement, right?
Because these are the people then having, you know, creating different contexts for others. And so it's, um. Yeah, it's very energizing and we're really proud of it because like I said, we've now had 16 offerings. We're starting our 17th offering, uh, next week. And um, yeah, for the
Laura Rotter
cohorts, what's that? How big are the cohort?
Monika Bodurka
Um, the cohorts aren't huge. I mean, they'll be, our last cohort was about 20 people, so they're around, you know, between 15 and 20, um, people, and which allows for great conversation. And the whole premise of the program is embodiment, right? So we're not just learning about how to coach others, um, to cultivate resilience, but how do we embody this, right?
How do we. It's, it's, I always joke, how do we, you know, we're like dogs. We smell it on each other, right? So how do we, as a coach or as a leader, how do we embody this? How do we, you know, create, rewire our brains, right? This is creating new neuro neuropathways in our brains. How do we use neuroplasticity to become a new person?
One who is happier? Happier makes you more resilient, healthier, and, and stronger even physically. Right. Um, so, so it's really great. 'cause what we do is we, we basically, um, the part of the program is based on research of the American Psychological Association, which says that resilient individuals have habits, behaviors, thoughts and actions that make them resilient.
It's not this innate trait that some people have and others don't. So based on that, we know, okay, these are behaviors, these are thoughts, these are, this is a way of thinking and actions that we can take. So now what we do is we. Ingrain those habits in our brain. That's, that's the goal, is to ingrain them so that they fire automatically.
And we do this by choosing micro practices, and that's that's how we work with people, by choosing small, tiny, micro practices, but repeating them over and over and over again. Right. Um, until they are our new normal. And what's great with micro practices is, as you know, people are really busy, right? What I hear from people all the time is they're overwhelmed and busy, and I don't have time for it.
But when it's a micro practice and you're stressed, but you can think, oh, right before the Zoom call, there's that moment before the, the, the facilitator comes on and there's that minute I can breathe during that minute. I can lengthen my spine, I can take a deep breath and, and, and tell myself I'm calm.
And that changes everything. So that doesn't take more time. Right. It's a new way to be. Um, so anyways, that, that, that's a program that really, um. And, and working with these, um, these coaches and leaders has been extremely fulfilling and I'm humbled by it 'cause they come in often with so much more wisdom and experience than I have.
Right. So we're, we're, we're co-creating and learning from each other. Uh, so it's great.
Laura Rotter
Thanks so much for sharing that. I, I know in my own life from. Meditating daily to exercising daily to doing spiritual text study That, that this is a constant practice that there isn't in a sense that like, well, I've done it for this long, so now I'm good.
Right. Because for better or for worse, I'm human. So I'm wondering what practices Monica, you have in your own life that, um, helps you stay? Uh, I don't wanna say centered 'cause I actually think that there's a constant, you know, if you do yoga and you're doing T tree pose, there's constant adjustment. It's not like, here I am and I'm balanced, so.
Right. I'm curious what practices you, you have.
Monika Bodurka
So, um, my number one non-negotiable, or what I've discovered and works for me the most is breath work. Um, I, I, I think I mentioned, I, I studied yoga therapy, uh, became a yoga therapist, and I actually said this to my husband a couple weeks ago. I don't know who I'd be without that program.
Like it, it changed everything for me. It, um, and so breath work is no longer a practice I have to do. It's something I want to do. Um, I joke that, um, you know, I will, I will miss a plane, but I won't miss my work. I will miss eating. I will miss everything. But it, it's, so, and the reason is, is it, I feel. I feel different and there's so much research on it, right?
Like if, if anybody is interested in it, you know, even reading James Nestor's book breath really is fabulous because he really explains the physiological, um. You know, impact of breath work and it doesn't have to take a long time, and he explains what the yogis have been doing for thousands of years. But everybody was dismissing.
Um, because it just seemed woo woo and who has time and breathing? We all have breath. Like of course that's something we do, right? You didn't think about what's actually happening happening. But in today's world where people are so stressed and running and going. And, and the way we, and, and you know, this is being, I don't know if this is video recorded, but just think about the way everybody's on the computer, right?
Hunched over, shoulders down, their diaphragm is cut off. They're sending a signal to their nervous system that they're stressed and depressed and not safe. So for me, this is a counterbalance like I am, I'm, I'm bringing breath. To my whole body. I feel like it changes my whole constitution, my outlook for the day on days.
I have missed it. I've always noted that I, my tendency will be to be more negative. Um, that's why I don't, I don't, I don't miss it. I love it. And I'll do it in between, like I'll do mini practices between meetings, um, and then I do my practice in the morning. Um, and, uh, yeah. That's my, my main one and there's lots more.
But that's my
main one.
Laura Rotter
And I think that there's also a sense like we've all learned to hold our abdomens in, like we're never just having a full. Belly breath and it's just almost countercultural
Totally. To like,
let yourself just like breathe into your belly. Let it expand. Especially for women.
Monika Bodurka
Yeah, totally.
Oh yeah, absolutely. And we're rushed and we're holding our breath. Um, we're, many of us are mouth breathing. So again, that's signaling to the nervous system that, um, you're in danger, right? Because usually you both breathe when you're running. Interesting. Um, as opposed to, you know, breathing in through your nose.
I, I'll tell you just a side note, I, we went to a dentist with my younger daughter last year and, um, she was fascinating and, um, she actually, unlike other dentists. Was like she went and started feeling her head and it's just like so, so interesting. And then she's like, your daughter's a mouth breather.
You have to tape her mouth when she goes to bed. And I said, what this is, this is, you know, and, and I mean, I knew about mouth breathing just from yoga, but I thought, oh, interesting. I never noticed this. And, and she said, okay, you, you basically tape her mouth to go to sleep. She's, she's not, she's not gonna suffocate because, you know, that's our instinct.
We, you know, unless your nose is stuffed, like you're not gonna do it. Right. Like, it's not something to be done with somebody who's got like. Respiratory issues. But anyway, um, and she's like, and come back and, and there's a whole bunch of, you know, things that happened with the mouth. And I'm not gonna go into all the dental, um, reasons she was recommending this, but one of the things that my husband and I noticed right away is that she calmed down.
Um, she would, because she'd be self-regulating at school all day. She would kind of come home and just be really. Um, for lack of a better word, dramatic but intense, right? Like just, and, and just very, very, um, yeah, very intense. And she just chilled out. And it was really interesting because again, in his book, James Nestor, he talks about this, right?
Um, what happens to our bodies when we're not getting enough? Breath and what happens when we're, um, you know, mouth breathing. And so it's great, great stuff. I can talk about this forever, uh, because I've seen it as just the most amazing, um, tool and, and I can share research with you as well. I mean, if there's, if it's of interest to your viewers to explore further.
'cause I do think it, um, yeah, it changes everything. So
Laura Rotter
Thank you. And, um. Specifically for sharing that, uh, two things came up for me. First of all, I do have medical tape on my bedside, and I don't every night, but I do tape my mouth when I sleep because I do think that I was snoring. Mm. Um, and I, and I had read about that.
It could help if you are, because we all lapse into mouth breathing when we're sleeping. And so. Um, it sounds crazy, but it really works, number one. And number two, I use my Apple Watch to remind me every two hours to just breathe for a minute. Um, and it has haptics on your wrist, so, you know, so it's a deep breath.
A deep mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exhale. And just to, for me, it's. Reminding myself to be present in the current moment and not to be often my to-do list or my preparation, which as we noted at the beginning, is what our culture. Almost demands of us, you know? Yeah. And the idea that actually this is it, this is our lives, this moment as we speak, as the air is a little bit cool as my cat is in the corner.
And just to be present with my breath and with what is, is, um, a practice that, that I have.
Monika Bodurka
And, and I love that. And that's what we teach is, is again, those micro practices and having triggers to remind you to do that. Right. And finding, actually one of our grads said, you know, for example, um, you know, while putting on makeup, like what's something you do every day, right?
So being really mindful with. Like being super Yes. Present and bring, you know, or brushing your teeth, doing the dishes right. Or doing the di right. Whatever it is. Or, or even like for me it's cold out. We were talking about it. Um, it's January, it's snowing here today in Toronto, Canada. Um, so I'm drinking a lot of tea.
Well, my kettle, it takes about 60 seconds or more for it to boil. So I could go off and be tidying or scrolling or something while I wait. Or what I do is I, I, it's now I've, I've created this, it, it's like a trigger for me that I'm going to take. Some breaths. So I, I do that while I make a smoothie and I'm blending my blender.
Um, I, I'm taking breaths, right? So it's while you wait for the shower to get warm, you take your breath. Like where are all the places? Even when I go for a walk with my dog before I, I always, I do call my mom, but I first walk, right? This is my time to check in with my mom and we have a great conversation.
But first I walk in silence. No podcasts, no nothing, you know, to just feel the feed on the ground, notice the snow or whatever, the cold air, warm air, whatever. Um. So it's not like, 'cause people sometimes think, oh, I don't have time for this. Um, but it's how can we do these things or attach them to what we're already doing?
Right. Or change the way we're doing these things. Yes. Right. We're doing them anyway.
Laura Rotter
Exactly. And even as we speak, I got my alert from my watch to uh, take a moment to breathe, which I'll do after we finish. Perfect. So Monica, we are getting to the end of our conversation. I'm curious. Um. How has your definition of success shifted from what it was when you were growing up to today?
Monika Bodurka
This question, I love this question. I feel we could do a whole podcast on this. So my definition of success before was, you know, what you would see. I just, I don't know. I'm thinking of like. Oh my God, what was his Michael J. Fox, right? Like the secret of success in, you know, the eighties, or what is it? What was it?
Family ties and he had, you know, his little suit on all the time and it was all about, you know, climbing the corporate ladder and being successful. In a way, artificially, superficially. And, um, yeah. You know, having a nice house, just all external stuff. And now for me it's really about, um, you know, joy and ease and time with my family.
And it took me a long time to when, especially when I left my job, it took me a long time to have com like. To sink into it, but just that success is how much, um, connection and time and joy and ease and sun on my face and, um, just wellbeing that I have. Um, yeah, so it's a very, very different. The other definition was all about hustle.
This one, that's why I was saying I'm healing from the hustle. It's just, um, completely different.
Laura Rotter
That, that comment so resonates with me. I shared with you at the beginning, and now I'll share with our listeners that, you know, uh, um, my story is that, um, I left Wall Street. Now it's over a decade ago and, you know, founded my own business.
And following my joy. And yet I have to say when I started this business, and frankly almost until the mantra I'm creating for this year, I was still hustle, hustle, hustle and metrics and numbers and revenue and clients. And um, and as I said, um, at the beginning, I was the worst boss I ever had in terms of the hours I was working in.
Again, being human, it's not totally gone, but I really, um. I am making the mantra for 2025, the year of manifesting ease, because I've come to realize that again, I was using ease as this sort of outside metric. I'm going to find ease. I don't know where it is. I'm gonna look under the bed. And then I sort of came to the realization that EASE is always here.
Yeah. But it's my work to notice it and invite it in. Mm-hmm. Breath work through presence, through, through what you described your work is, um, uh, we are so trained culturally to think everything is is to be achieved outside of ourselves and. Everything we need is here, and it's just up to us to put the practices in place to recognize it.
So, um, as our conversation comes to an end, Monica, is there something else you wanna make sure you share with our listeners or, um, a resource you, um, can provide?
Monika Bodurka
Yeah. Um, oh. Yeah, I mean, I, I, on, on my website, there's all kinds of, um, I've got like a workbook to my book, uh, a new way to Be, which is all about ease.
So my book is a new way to be becoming resilient when habit, breath and moment at a time.
Laura Rotter
I will certainly link that.
Monika Bodurka
Yeah. So, so again, that's about how do we, again, a new way to be, not the hustle, not basing our decisions on, on fear and stress, but choosing that ease. And then I find some magic happens. So magic happens, like in what you were talking about.
When you choose that, then there's a flow and there's new opportunities and synchronicities that would've never happened, um, when you're in the hustle. So yes, so there's a companion to my book on the website that's free, which actually is like a very simple document where you can write things down and, and, um.
Choose your mini micro practices. There's actually a whole chapter on breath work. So people can choose, um, what they're going to do. And then the idea is you could even find examples on YouTube, but just do a mini practice every day for five minutes and see what happens, right? So I invite people to that.
If anybody's interested in that coaching program I talked about. We also have a free guide, um, called, um, beyond Bouncing Back. Right, because resilience isn't necessarily about bouncing back when there's multiple stressors, right? Yeah. We talked about the shock absorbers. So there, um, there's a whole bunch of resources for people who are leaders, coaching people to be resilient, or coaches who are looking for additional tools.
Like there's a, uh, a guide, um, there's like an audit for dealing with overwhelm. There's, um, a 62nd reset, what we talked about. So like take how you can. In 60 seconds reset your nervous system. Right. Uh, so all kinds of, uh, resources, I can send you those so you can just link them for people.
Laura Rotter
That would be great.
Yeah. Thank you. I really have enjoyed our conversation. Monica, you have a very calming presence.
Monika Bodurka
Oh, well thank God. Thank goodness. Um, it's been such a joy. It's so nice to meet someone, uh, who's so aligned and, um, doing similar work in a different field, but with the same essence. Um, so it's, it's, it's a joy and an honor.
Narrator
Thanks for listening to Making Change with your Money Certified financial Planner, Laura Rodder specializes in helping people just like you organized, clarify, and invest their money. In order to support a life of purpose and meaning, go to www.trueabundanceadvisors.com/workbook for a free resource to help you on your journey.
Disclaimer, please remember that the information shared by this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment, or financial advice. It's for information purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.