A conversation with Torriel Harris, a career coach, as she shares her expert insight and personal journey. The episode, filled with both epic wins and face-plant fails, will resonate with any woman who has ever felt lost, stuck, or just plain over it in her career.
Ready to ditch the self-doubt and unleash your inner career badass? Join us for a real, raw, and inspiring conversation with Torriel Harris, the career coach who is helping women rewrite their career stories and create lives they truly love.
Torriel's expert insight and personal journey, filled with both epic wins and face-plant fails, will resonate with any woman who's ever felt lost, stuck, or just plain over it in her career. This isn't your average career advice – this is a soul-stirring call to action to embrace your dopeness, command the room, and build a career that fuels your fire. Listen in – because you deserve a career that lights you up, not burns you out.
This episode dives deep into the nitty-gritty of career transformation, exploring everything from slaying the resume game (which, by the way, Torriel hates) to mastering the art of the interview, and building unshakeable confidence. Torriel shares her unique perspective on the current job market chaos, the power (and pitfalls) of networking, and why motivation alone just isn't enough to create lasting change. Get ready to ditch the limiting beliefs, embrace your inner badass, and build a career that sets your soul on fire.
Key Takeaways:
💡 Career Clarity: Gain insights into identifying your strengths, passions, and ideal career path.
💡 Effective Communication: Learn how to articulate your value, accomplishments, and career goals with confidence.
💡 Sustainable Growth: Discover strategies for building sustainable habits and maintaining motivation throughout your career journey.
💡 Navigating the Job Market: Gain practical tips for navigating the current job market and standing out from the competition.
Connect with Torriel:
Free resources: Sign up for The Confidence Loungue
Stay connected with Laura:
Connect with Laura on LinkedIn
@Rotters5 on X
Connect with Laura on Facebook
Subscribe to my YouTube channel
Get your free copy of Unlock Your Money Blocks Workbook: Your step-by-step guide to unlocking your blocks to financial freedom.
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment or financial advice. It’s for informational purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information.
Laura Rotter
Do you ever feel like you're walking through your career on autopilot, going through the motions, but not truly in the driver's seat? You're showing up, you're doing the work. Maybe you're even receiving accolades, but inside there's a quiet yearning for something more. A desire to align your career with your true passions and purpose.
You might try to silence that inner voice by focusing on promotions, raises, or external validation. But the feeling persists. Perhaps you've updated your resume, networked tirelessly, or even taken additional courses hoping to ignite that spark of career fulfillment. But what if the missing ingredient isn't about what you do, but about how you show up?
What if the key to unlocking your career potential lies not in external achievements, but in cultivating an unshakeable inner confidence. A confidence that radiates from within and commands attention in any room. My guest today, Rielle Harris, a business and career development coach, discovered this power firsthand.
After a series of setbacks, including a college dropout experience and a period of unemployment, Riel found her calling in helping others navigate the complexities of the career landscape Reel's approach goes beyond traditional resume writing and interview prep. She delves into the deeper emotional and spiritual aspects of career development, helping women tap into their inner dopeness and create sustainable growth plans.
Stay tuned and hear reel's inspiring story and discover how you can command any room overcome imposter syndrome. And create a career that truly reflects your career brilliance.
Narrator
Welcome to Making Change With Your Money, a podcast that highlights the stories and strategies of women who experienced a big life transition and overcame challenges as they redefined financial success for themselves.
Now, here's your host, certified financial planner, Laura Rodder.
Welcome Riel to the Making Change With Your Money podcast.
Torriel Harris
Thank you so much.
Laura Rotter
So happy to be here. I'm gonna start like I always do with the question Riel, what was money like in your family growing up?
Torriel Harris
Uh,
you know. So I'm an only child. Ah, and yeah, my mom's an only child.
Uh, and so for me as a kid, like I didn't realize we didn't have a lot because. It just seemed like a lot for me. It was everything was for me. Um, but when we would hang out, out with my family, so my cousins technically right, my second cousins, uh, 'cause I don't have siblings or you know, my mom doesn't have siblings.
So when I would go with the other side of the family, I would realize we really don't have a lot. But it was always fun. I had a really, really fun childhood and I, I didn't even, I didn't even notice it. It was one of those things that I didn't notice until I needed to notice when I got older.
Laura Rotter
I love that 'cause it just brings home Elle the fact that comparison is what we humans do.
And so unless we see others that have more or less than us, ideally we. We feel fine. We feel like we have enough. You know, if you have good relationships, if you're surrounded by love, if you're with people who care about you, certainly when we're younger, until we go to places where then we see, oh, that person has different clothes, or that person takes different vacations, we have no idea.
And, um, you know, certainly that was my experience that I didn't really have a sense that I had less than anyone else. Did you grow up with any expectations of of, mm-hmm. So what were those expectations? I mean,
Torriel Harris
I thought I was supposed to have everything. I'm, I'm definitely. I'm definitely a spoiled princess even to date, like I still, you know, I take care of my responsibilities, but I'm a spoiled princess and everybody knows it.
I'm not like rude or, you know, snotty about it, but I, I live a princess life. My mom and I, we actually have a bet. So, uh, back in, oh, I'm 36 now. So when I was about to turn 30, I lived in New York, and so she was here in Cali. And, you know, she called me and she was like, listen, when are you paying your bill?
So I, I just wanted to get her off the phone. So I was like, listen, let's, let's, let's make a deal. When I turned 40 or married. And so we laugh. We got off the phone and then she calls me like maybe later in a week and she's like, oh, I was telling my friend about our bet. And I'm like, what are you talking about?
And she's like, remember you said you would pay your phone bill either when you're 40 or you're married? And I said, oh, oh, she, she took it. Okay, cool. So now every time my birthday comes up, she's like, oh, five more years, four more years.
Laura Rotter
Look, everybody, even people who are married, my kids are married.
They're still on my Verizon cell phone bill. Yep. So you know that somehow it never changes. And it's funny, I was. You know, I'm always happy when my kids come to me for financial planning advice and so I, you know, was going through the list of what I know to be fixed bills. Right? Everybody has them. So I'm going through like cell phone bill.
Oh no, you don't have a cell phone bill? I pay for that. Oh, cable. Oh no, you don't have cable and you're using my Hulu and my No. So the things that, like I take for granted when I'm going through with my clients, my, my kids aren't paying for yet. And did you have expectations relatable. Exactly tole. Did you have expectations around education?
Like what? What your education was gonna be like? Yeah,
Torriel Harris
yeah. And being the little rubble that I am, I did not meet those expectations. My mom set, she went into the military pretty much right after high school. And she was like, I want the military to pay for education.
Laura Rotter
Right.
Torriel Harris
And she, she got it. Right. And so even when I was a kid, she was still in school and then she decided to get her master's.
So she was still in school. And then she decided to get her doctorate. So she was still in school. Wow. And, and me. I don't wanna do that. So I, I did well in high school and then college came and I just wanted to party that. That's it. I just wanted to party and, you know, I ended up getting on academic suspension, not because I'm bad, but because.
I just partied a lot. Um, and then finally I got my act together and my school was like, Hey, by the way, you're 10 grand short, so we're gonna have to send you home. And I, I had to leave and that really just discouraged me. I, I was like, I can't, I don't wanna do this anymore. And so today I'm a proud college dropout and my mom hated it for a very long time.
Yeah, I could see that. 'cause clearly she values education. Mm-hmm.
Laura Rotter
I'm curious, what did you get a doctorate in?
Torriel Harris
Um, business. Business. Business and marketing.
Laura Rotter
So, um, so what did you do after you dropped outta college?
Torriel Harris
So, after I dropped outta college, I became a churchgoer. Girl and spent all my time in church and decided to just start working on my career.
Laura Rotter
Go on, like how did you know what you wanted your career to be, what you, what you wanted to do?
Torriel Harris
I didn't. Oh, I, I had no idea. No idea. Um, I knew that my mom was in social work for a long time, and so I was very, uh, acquainted with like human services and stuff like that.
Mm-hmm. But I didn't know what exactly I wanted to do.
I had, I had no idea. And so, uh, in 2013. 2013 September, I went to go visit my family in New York and as soon as I got off the plane I said, I'm gonna move here.
Laura Rotter
So you were saying that your mom was a social worker and so you became interested in human services, so, mm-hmm. Actually, I was curious. So you drove from California to New York, your mother drove you?
Torriel Harris
Yep.
Laura Rotter
Across the country? Yep.
Torriel Harris
Her and her and I, we just alternated. So we both got tickets in like Oklahoma and Texas.
Laura Rotter
Was it an adventure?
Torriel Harris
Kind of, because here's the thing, so remember I said I became a, like a very devout Christian, and so I keep the Sabbath day Saturday and I told her, I'm like, listen, we worldwide, so when the Sabbath comes, I'm stopping wherever we are. And she was basically like, bet. So we made it in 49 hours.
Laura Rotter
Wow. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, I'm also a Sabbath observer and, um, I do find that it really works best in community, I guess. You were doing it on, on your own while you were driving?
Torriel Harris
Pretty much. I mean, I was, I, we made it to New York, be like the maybe 5:00 AM on Saturday.
Laura Rotter
Wow. Wow. And so, yeah. What was your plan in New York?
Were you staying with relatives? What? What? What were you planning to do? Tole.
Torriel Harris
So be, because I live a life of prayer, I said, okay, before I even move, I'm gonna just pray and if I get a job, I'm gonna move. I got a job, I got a job at a nonprofit and I said, oh wait, I don't have a place to live. So then I prayed and then I was like, okay, if I find the first to live, I'm gonna go.
And my grandma, she and I aren't really the closest, but she was like, yeah, come stay with me. And I was like, okay. So I moved it, it all worked out truly God's will. But I, uh, you know, it, it was definitely a change because California is very different from New York. I've lived back and forth. From New York like most of my life.
Um, but it's different being an adult in New York versus being, you know, like a teenager being taken care of in New York is very, very difficult. And, uh, you know, for the first year I was fine, uh, but I was 25 and was not responsible. So the job that I had, it just wasn't the greatest. I wasn't the greatest and I ended up getting fired and I didn't get a job for a year, so I ended up losing my car.
My car got repoed twice, actually. My mom got it out the first time and then that second time. It was just too much. So my car got repoed. Um, I was on the brink of losing my apartment. I had to get on public assistance. Never been on that before, and I was like, whoa. Like I might just need to go home. I might just need to go to Cali and.
I went into this back to work program and you know, that's where basically in order for you to keep your public assistance, you have to go into this program, show up, show that you're job searching, and then you know, they'll give you the public assistance and. I just noticed that there were people in there, especially older people who didn't really know what to do, like how to work the computers sometimes, or you know, they didn't really know how to do their resume and because I'm like, I'm here anyway, I'll help.
And I just started helping randomly. And one of the women there noticed and she's like, listen, we don't have a job here, but we have a sister company in Staten Island that, you know, does basically the same thing. Would you want to interview? And I was like, heck yeah. So I, I got, I live far in, if anybody knows New York City.
I lived in Jamaica. So Jamaica is like at the very end of. Queens. So I had to get on the bus to the train, the train to the ferry, and then walk a couple blocks. So that was like a two hour commute. Wow. Just, just going to, and I was like, well, I gotta do what I gotta do. And I got the job and I did just that, but.
That opened the door to me being in career development. I had no idea about it. Like I didn't, I never even heard of it before. So I facilitated workshops, I did resume stuff, and thinking back to how the resumes were then versus now, I'm like, oh gosh, they were probably horrible, but they looked good to other people.
And yeah, that just, that just became my thing.
Laura Rotter
So, okay. Um, I was asking what your favorite part of career development work is.
Torriel Harris
Being able to piece together different things. I, I've always loved jigsaws and so when I think about career development, it kind of is like that, right? It's kind of like, okay, you are here, you wanna be here.
What do we do in order to get you there? How do we build that path in order for you to get from A to B? So I really like that aspect.
Laura Rotter
And, and for me and our listeners, could you walk us through what some of those puzzle pieces are? You did mention resume writing, so there's resume writing, which by the way, I hate, I hate resumes now.
Torriel Harris
I do not do them. I will review, but I do not do them myself.
Laura Rotter
Um, have they changed over time? I know every now there's like a paragraph at the top of your skills and, uh…
Torriel Harris
I mean there's a couple little tweaks here and there, but a resume is a resume is a resume. Like unless you do something drastically wrong, it's.
Same thing, but there's the resume piece. There's, you know, anything that you use for messaging, right? So that could be your cover letter, that can be your LinkedIn, that could be your portfolio, right? And that's really depending on your industry, whether you need one of those or not. And then you have the interview piece, right?
Do you know how. Speak to your strengths. The problem is, especially with women, 'cause I I, my main, um, clientele these days are women. And the problem with us a lot of times is that we feel like we're bragging. We don't, we don't wanna talk to our, our strengths, our accomplishments. But then you'll get a very mediocre, mediocre white man who will come in and be like, listen, I have 50% of this stuff, but I'm still gonna interview anyway.
And you know what? He gets the job. Why? Because he is not afraid to show, this is what I've done throughout my career and this is how I can help you. And so my job is to teach. People, women specifically, that your accomplishments are your accomplishments. Like it's not a brag if it happened. Now, obviously it depends on how you say it, right?
If you're just like, I'm just the best at blah, blah, blah, that's a little different, right? But if you're just being matter of fact about it, I was able to help my company accomplish da da, da, da. That's different. That that happened, right? That's just like how my stats are in my bio. It happens aside from this year, which has been a hot mess in the, the job market, my stats have been that my people get a, a new role within about three months.
My myself included, right before this year, I could get a job within. Six to seven weeks, honestly speaking. But because of this job market, it's very difficult. But the point is, my accomplishments are my accomplishments. Their accomplishments are theirs. Like we have to break out of the the thought pattern that just because it is an accomplishment does not mean we're bragging about ourselves.
It's just facts. And so. That is the thing that I think that a lot of women, it's kind of like our pitfall in a way. Um, and that that goes across the board, like whether you're entry level all the way to even C-suite. Like it's very difficult sometimes for women to express what they're really amazing at.
And so part of my tagline, right, recognize your dopeness, is that. It, it allows you to see, this is what I've done in my career, this is how I've done it, and this is why I'm dope. This is why you need me on your team. This is why I am that go-to girl. And so that's, that's part of it, right? That's all of that.
Um, but then of course you have your skills and you know, stuff like that, that. That has to do with the job. You can't wanna be an astrophysicist and you only learned how to be a waitress. Right? Like you have to be realistic. Um, and I, that's the other thing I teach my clients. Let's, let's get real, let's, let's be honest with ourselves.
If it's something completely stretch Armstrong, like out of reach, maybe not so much, but if we can build the blocks to get to maybe from instead of A to Z, we get to A to D. That's perfect. Progress is progress. And that's the other thing that I teach is to recognize the progress that you're making. So many of us, we live in the land of Gap, right?
Where we're like, I didn't get this and I didn't finish this and I didn't do that. And we live there because that is what our society has taught us to do. Right. But instead of living in a land of gap, we have, excuse me. We have to live in a land of gain where we're thinking, okay, I haven't done this yet, but I have done da, da, da, da, right?
So when you think about, when people think about progress, sometimes they think about it like a linear, like a slope, right? But even this is progress because you started off down here. But even if it, you increase just a little bit, that's still progress. And so I want every woman that comes into my world to realize the progresses that you're making are amazing.
And I want them to know how amazing they are as people and as professionals. Because that's the other thing. We tie our professional and our personal worth together and they're not synonymous. They're just, they're just not. So, yeah, that's, I hope that answered
your question.
Laura Rotter
Thank you. I'm hearing so many things.
First of all, I totally agree that we, women do have difficulty, like, what is it? Touting our own horns. It feels uncomfortable for us. We've been taught not to do it. Mm-hmm. And not to sort of. Steal the limelight. Hold the limelight. Talk about ourselves. And another thing that you said when talking about the slope of progress, and you started off by saying, you know, like a white man, what he'll do?
I've heard over and over that men will be willing to apply for jobs when, like you said, they have 50% of the requirements. The women, like I'll have 90% of the requirements. Mm-hmm. Never an executive director before. It's like, well apply for it. You have this. Mm-hmm. It sounds like you recognize not only the role of hard skills and how, but the roles that emotions and the messages that we tell ourselves play in this and that you are, if you, if you will like the cheerleader or the encourager.
All, you know, of course there's a role that being realistic plays and on the other hand, not to let that hold us back if we do mm-hmm. Have skill sets and we can learn on the job and we're bright mm-hmm. Have transferable skills, so, um mm-hmm. Absolutely. Agree with what you're saying. Um, I know you position yourself as someone that, you know, the church plays a big role mm-hmm.
In your life. Um, do you feel like that's part of what you bring to the work that you do with others? That sort of faith.
Torriel Harris
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. My faith has completely done a 180 on my personality. Like I've always been this quirky, silly girl, right? But I was also very rude and, you know, uh, like I, I wanted everything my way and I didn't listen to people and so many terrible characteristics, right?
And I mean, we're human, so I'm not gonna be too hard on myself. Um. But, but God has definitely changed the way that I look at things, the way that I look at people. Um, you know, it's, it's the belief that everyone is my brother and sister. You know what I mean? And I was put on this earth to serve. Now that doesn't mean doormat, right?
Because some people look at that as, you know, they're way too subservient. I'm not a doormat. I do want to be able to serve and, and the way that I serve in this world is through career coaching.
Laura Rotter
I love it. Um, so you did mention, and I'm curious that this year has been a tough year. I, you know, I do know people who are recruiters.
Um, I have some relationships with people like that who have said, and this is in specific industries, that it's been a tough year. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um. What are you, what do you feel is different this year and what might change for the better in 2025?
Torriel Harris
So when we entered COVID, right, no one was working, no one was doing much of anything other than, you know, those who were nurses or like you had to, right then came 2021 where there were so many jobs and just not enough people to fill it.
And so. Rather, there was so many people, however, people were being more picky. So it was called an an employee's market, right? A job seekers market. And then around 22, end of 22, beginning of 23, it began to flip. And so now we are still in an employer's market where there are more job seekers than there are jobs.
And despite what they say, 'cause I, I'm not one of those coaches who keep up with the stats and all, it's very boring to me. So I don't, I don't know like all the things and the trajectory and all that. Um, but what I do see. I, you know, I, I talk to people and I observe and things like that. Is that there's just so many back to back to back layoffs because.
Employers overestimated what they needed and they didn't plan it outright. And so now we're getting a bunch of, even myself, I just got laid off, so
Laura Rotter
Oh, so you were working while developing this business?
Torriel Harris
Yes, yes. I've, I've been a part-time business owner since I started in 2021, and I actually quit last year.
I was, I was burnt out, I was over, it has to do with resumes. I, that's why now I don't do resumes anymore. But I, I was overly burnt out and I said, I'm not doing this. So August last year, I went on vacation in New York and I said, you know what? I'm just gonna call it quits. And I did, I didn't do anything with my business other than like a, a referral here or there.
I didn't do anything. And, uh, you know, I decided in January of this year, I was like, okay, I'm gonna find a better job that's just gonna replace everything. And it took six months. It took six months, and I, I got interviews and, you know, interviews are easy to come by from me. Um, and, you know, I'm, I'm very good at interviewing because.
I teach this, right? So it's easy for me to practice because I teach this, uh, and, and I ended up finding a new role in June, July, and that's when I started my business back up again because I was like, okay, I have a clear direction on where I want to go, what I wanna do. And so as I'm now developing this, this program.
Where I'm helping these women do this, I then get hit lit with a layoff. So now I'm a full-time business owner and I'm, I'm just betting on myself and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna try this until February. And if come February, I'm not making where I wanna make, I'll start working again. But I will, I have the foundations in place for the business that I won't be starting from my ground zero.
I'll just continue going forward. Um, but yes, uh. So now we're in a, a market where it's, it's very tough to find a new role and it's taking very qualified people a very long time to find a new role. And I, I have no answers on how it's gonna change or what's gonna be different because it fundamentally needs to change, right?
We, we need changes within the system where recruiters and hiring managers not ghosting people anymore. They're letting people know, Hey, I know we have an influx of people and this is not personal, but I can't hire you right now for whatever reason. There needs to be more transparency within the hiring process.
Um, I think there also needs to be like quicker processes, but the problem is some of these people that were doing this are the ones that got laid off. So it's, it's a very, it's a very like. Give and take ebb and flow type of thing. And I, I dunno how it's gonna change, but the part that I personally can control is helping the women to, you know, stay resilient during this time.
Hmm.
Laura Rotter
Tori is, are there particular industries that are hiring more than others? To be honest,
Torriel Harris
I have not been keeping up with the Joneses lately. Got it. So I, I really, I don't even know, like I've been so laser focused on getting this program up and going, that I really don't know. I do know though, that. Um, a lot of this year, I would say like marketing, pr, um, those kind of roles, those were very, very difficult.
Laura Rotter
Yeah.
Torriel Harris
Um, I know transportation was hiring a bit this year. Um, tech had its ups and downs. It was very, very much a hot mess last year. This year has gotten better. Um, but that's, that's kind of all I know. I don't, I don't know too much more than that.
Thank you and I, I, I'd have to assume that. As opposed to, I mean, I know I'll speak to people looking for jobs and they're just like, you know, answering things on LinkedIn or Indeed and I, I have to believe that if you have a relationship within a company, right, do you recommend that people go on LinkedIn if they wanna work for a specific company and try to find friends who are connected?
Just think if somebody within the company knows to look for your resume, it's gotta be different than now. It's so easy to apply that. It must be very easy to be ghosted.
Torriel Harris
Yes and no. So here's my thing, I have never, other than the first job I got within career development, I've never networked to get a new job.
Laura Rotter
Ever.
Mm-hmm.
Torriel Harris
All of my jobs have been through cold applying, including this last one that I just got laid off from and that took six months. Right. I think at the same time that networking is taking just as long. Mm-hmm. So. For some people, networking doesn't work for me. I don't like making small talk with people I don't like.
I'm just, I'm just not a fan. So unless I have to people, unless I, I, you know, have a particular connection with somebody or over something. I don't like to talk, I don't wanna talk. I'm, I'm. A lot more of an ambivert than an actual extrovert. And so I, that takes too much of my energy. Yeah. And so for some people that go into job searching, they're not realizing where their energy is going and the ebbs and flows of it all.
And so they'll network, but they're not networking effectively. And so that, that is what takes up a lot of time and energy, and then it, it doesn't really go anywhere. So long answer to say, if you network effectively where you're making the right types of connections, you're talking to the right kinds of people, you're not just saying, Hey, here's my resume, but you're actually going, Hey, I see that you're hiring for X, y, and Z position.
I have blah, blah, blah, years of experience doing blah. I would love to have a conversation with you about it. I know you're, you're very busy, so do you have time on X, Y, and Z date? Right. Being very specific, being very to the point, not wasting people's times. And I, I think that a lot of people though, have started to do that.
Laura Rotter
And so now you have one recruiter with 500 people in their inbox saying the same thing. Right?
So now networking is just not as effective, so it's.
Torriel Harris
Yeah, it just depends. It just depends because, uh, again, it is about what you say, how you say it, who you speak to, right? Knowing the male person is very different than knowing the CFO, right?
Laura Rotter
Yes.
Torriel Harris
Right. But sometimes it's just only the male person that you can, that will help you get your foot in the door. But I hear it exactly. So you've mentioned several times your program that you're working on, so can you tell us mm-hmm. About what that is?
Laura Rotter
Absolutely. So this, I love the name of it and I know I'm biased, but the name of my program is Commander Room sis.
Torriel Harris
And so this is all about that feeling of when you walk into a room, being able to just shut everything down and everyone is like eyes on you. And I don't mean literally, right, because we got some introverts, but I mean being able to just walk into a room and own. Own your stuff. When, when I think about me, right?
I think about no matter what has happened in my career, no matter the setbacks or anything that can't, nobody tell me I'm not good at what I do. No one can tell me that I haven't accomplished what I've accomplished and done what I've done and can go where I want to go. No one can stop me and not as the kind of confidence that I wanna fill women with.
I didn't want a mission this year, well, next year, I guess, to fill 500 women with that same like. Feeling of confidence where no matter what happens in your career, no matter what you do, you know you can command the freaking room. Right. So with that, there's three different parts of that. There's clarity, there's understanding what it is you wanna do, where did you wanna go, and what you even like.
A lot of times we fall into a career that we just fell in. We didn't, we don't necessarily like it. We didn't necessarily choose it, but we're good at it. So we do it and we continue to do it. But oftentimes, as life goes on, as you progress in your career. That isn't enough to sustain you. And so when you wanna move up, you're kind of like at a glass ceiling because it's like, I don't even want to do this anyway, and so I'm gonna apply for this.
But because your energy isn't there, you're just kind of like you're hitting a ceiling. And so I wanna break women out of that to be like, what do you actually like to do while being realistic, but what do you like to do? Where do your strengths lie? What are your weaknesses and are they actually weaknesses?
I use this example all the time. I'm terrible at Excel. I'm terrible at math, but neither one of those things are things that I actually need for my career. So technically there are a weakness, but they're irrelevant to my career path, so I don't need to even think about that, right? We, we too often think about the things that we're not good at and what we're, what we don't know how to do, but if they don't even have relevance, why are we thinking about them?
Right. So I wanna reprogram the mindset so that we know, okay, this is what I wanna do, this is where I wanna go. These are the things that I need to think about. And once we have that, then we move into communication, which is the vi visibility piece. So that's where we say, okay, I know what I wanna do, I know what I'm good at.
Now I gotta tell the world. And by the world, I just mean the right people that could be inside of your organization. That could be outside of it, that could be, you know what I wanna, I wanna work in finance. I'm in hr. Let me do a stretch assignment. Let me do something that, you know, moves me closer towards my goal that I'm now have clarity on.
Right. And so that, that's that piece, right? Knowing how to now let people know what it is that you do and what it is that you're good at. But then the reason why I say motivation isn't enough is because it's just not right. When we think about the gym, like let's just even think Jan second gyms are gonna be pat to the brim.
I know it's fire hazard. It happens every year. Every year without fail, we dust off the old membership or we renew a new membership. We're saying this year is my year, new year, new me, new body. Right? We get in there, January comes February, comes March. We're bored, or we're tired, or life just decided to life.
Things gotten away. Now there's three people in the gym left. I know why. True. But it's because motivation wasn't enough. They lost sight of their goal. They didn't keep up the things to sustain them, and then they stopped going. And so that's what the third part is about, sustainability, making sure that you not only have motivation, but the commitment to get there.
And so that has to do with your, your habits, right? Do you say at the end of your day, Ugh. I know I work a full-time job. I know I have a family. I just, I don't have time to look for a new job. Do you really not have time? Or did you spend maybe an hour and a half doom scrolling on social media or, you know, doing something that has nothing to do with your goals?
Right? We've really taken an evaluation of your time, of your productivity, of your habits, so that we can now start forming habits that are healthy, habits that move you closer to your goal. Because when life lifes. Because it will, right? We get sick, we got family stuff, we have this, we have that. Once all of that kind of settles, the dust settles.
You can get back on your horse and get back to what you were doing. But too often we forget our goals. We forget the things that we actually wanted to accomplish. And now here it is December and we're like, what have I done this year? What? What did I accomplish? So those are all the parts of command in the room, sis, and I am so proud of this program because I feel like it is what I would've needed when I was early in my career, or not even just early in my career when I was even a few years ago in my career.
There was a point where even though I'm good at what I do, I didn't know what direction to go. I was in HR for a little bit. I had no business being there, but because of my personality, I ended up schmoozing my way in. Like I just, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was very lost and confused and I was just like, okay, I'm just gonna apply for anything.
And then I started applying to like administrative assistant and all this and that. 'cause I'm like, I don't have a degree. And you know, all of these things that I teach women. We don't need to do that. You know what I mean? So if I would've had this program even three, four years ago, oh, the, the, the mindset that I would've had, the, the clarity, I would've been able to achieve the direction I would've been able to go in.
And, I mean, I got there, right? Like I got to where I wanted to go, but I think it would've been a much smoother path had I had a program like this. So this is why I've created this program.
Laura Rotter
So how does the program work exactly? It's, it's a membership. It's online. What, what is it?
Torriel Harris
So it's online. Um, there's two different tracks.
There's the eight week track, there's a 12 week track. So in the eight week. It is a little bit more cost effective and it's a little bit quicker, right? If you are the kind of person where you're like, no, I, I legit don't have the kind of time, that's the track that you're gonna wanna go on. Because in that we meet once a week as a group.
Um, every third week is an implementation week. And so that allows you to really put the stuff that you learned into practice so that you know you're not overwhelmed. And then by that eight. Week, then you're done, right? Like of course I follow up with you and things like that. And if you wanna stay with me in different aspects, you can, but at least you have the foundation.
Whereas the 12 week we dive deeper. So that first week we do a group call, and then two weeks after that we do one-on-one.
Hmm.
So it's, it's a hybrid in a way where it's, um, you know, group, but then the one-on-one where we can dive deeper so I can really get a feel of, okay, you said these are your qualities.
How, how can we build these out? How can we define these a little bit more? Okay. You, you said you want to be on LinkedIn and you want to network how? Let's create your visibility plan, right? Then we do my version of a SWOT analysis. Um, which is a soma, which talks about your strengths, the opportunities. Um, we talk about your, I forget the m what the M stands for, but basically how to, um, like what are your potential weaknesses and what can we kind of improve and make you more aware of?
Um, and so we do that kind of analysis and, and, you know, I just work with you like really deeply so that for that quarter. You're, you have your plan, it's set in place, and now you can continue on with the rest of your year in a strategic way.
Laura Rotter
Thanks for defining that. I guess what I'm taking away, so I just wanna clarify, is that the 12 week has more one-on-one with you than mm-hmm.
Torriel Harris
Eight week does. The eight week is more of a group, but it is live, I guess. So they're interacting Yes. With you and Yes. Advice during the program. Um. So thank you for clarifying that. So, um, as we're getting to the, um, end of our conversation, tole, I guess I'm, I'm always curious and like to ask the question over time, and I still, I know you're sort of early in building this business, but, and has your definition of success shifted over time from when you.
You know, first came to New York and had, uh, something in mind to, to now, you
know, it's shifted because there's an actual definition. Now, I've always lived life by the seat of my pants. Like I've never, I've like me moving. I just said, I'm gonna move. And then 2021 I said, I'm gonna move back. Right? Like I am.
I'm such a nomad and I don't.
Laura Rotter
Interesting take.
Torriel Harris
Yeah, I don't take too much seriously in life. So it's kind of like things come, things go, money comes, money goes. Like, I, it is what it is, right? Like there's, there's no point in worrying about things and there's nothing I can do to change it, right? So I think now I have a little bit of a clear definition of.
What I want and, and like how I wanna go. I think I'm still not a money driven person. Like money does not motivate me. Money is a means to an end. It's what we use as a society. If I could barter, I would, right? Like I would totally do that. And that's just not how we live as ACI society. So for me. I ran away from numbers for a while.
'cause they're like, I don't care. It doesn't matter. But in a way it does. Right? Because it, it just. Gives me structure and gives me a actual goal to work towards and lets me know whether my goals are off or not. And I don't have some exorbitant, like, oh, I wanna make 20 KA month. Nothing like that, right?
But I want to be able to live and to be able to take care of my bills and to be able to. Buy makeup and hair stuff and boots, you know what I mean? Like still have the luxury of that without worrying. How am I gonna pay my bills for the next month? So, to answer your question, my definition of success now is.
Having a goal and meeting. Hmm. That's it. That's it. I'm simple dimple. I don't, I don't need a whole lot, but, you know, I, I do need to live. So that's, that's my, my, uh, outlook of success now.
Laura Rotter
Thank you Torriel. I mean, um, you know, we, we've connected earlier and certainly I'm in total agreement that making money on its own the goal.
Torriel Harris
It really is a means to an end and, and the end should be what's valuable to you. What I'm hearing you say is. Independence. Right. You've, you, you self define yourself as like a, a rebel and someone who has been a nomad. And I, I, I guess what you're saying is you want to continue to live into yourself.
Laura Rotter
Yeah.
Torriel Harris
And, and the independence that, that implies without having to worry about, again, as you put it, how to pay your bills and, and build a business that is. As much a way of sustaining yourself as also a mission to use the skills that you've developed and continue to develop to help. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Laura Rotter
So I know that you, you mentioned you do have some free resources.
Anything that you know, you talk about, I'm happy to include in the show notes, including your website. Um. What are, you know, what are those resources and what you, what would you like our listeners to know before we uh, say goodbye?
Torriel Harris
Sure. So, uh, there's two resources that I have. I'm still building, like, I'm building a library right now.
But the two that I have ready and available and have been making, uh, strides for People is one is called I Need, I Bring. And so that is a common practice in career coaching where. We figure out what is it that you need in order to have a, have a good experience in your role, right? And so that could be, you know, I needed to be remote or I need to be in a, a team atmosphere, right?
But all that aside, like that's secondary. Third dare to me. For me, what I want people to do with this is to say, what kind of roles and responsibilities do I need? So I'll use myself for an example. For me, if I were looking for a new role, I would have to be facilitating. I am such a talker that I need to be facilitating something, right?
I need to have some kind of leadership. Even if my title isn't a leader, I need to be leading something. I need to be in charge of something. I need to be doing strategy of some sort, right? So these are the things that I need in a role to be happy, to be like, yep. These are my non-negotiables. These are what I want to do.
So when people do these work, these, this exercise, I want you to look at it like that first, and then the other stuff can come after. And then I bring is the other side of it, which is where you talk about what it is that you can, like how did you back that up? So for me, if I were doing it, for me, I need to be leading something.
Why? Because I bring eight years of leadership, right? Without the title, I've still led meetings, I have still strategized on different things. I've still created programs, right? I. I have, if I want to facilitate. I've been facilitating for eight years, right? I have done this, I've done that. So these are the proofs to show why you need these things.
And the reason it's important to have both is because, number one, it gives you that clarity on what it is you actually wanna do. But then number two. Not only will it help you to know what it is that you bring to the table, but it can also help with your resume. It could also help with your interview, right?
It, it helps to do that and it pumps you full of the confidence to know, no, no, no, I got this. I know what I'm doing. Right. So that's, I need, I bring, and then the other one, uh, this was one of my favorite things to record. It's called Reset. So it is a three part series, and when I say three part, I mean like bite-size piece.
It's like 10 ish minutes altogether, it's 30 minutes. Like if you were to listen in one go and I'm talking about how to reset your mindset, how to reset your time and productivity and how to reset your confidence. So a big thing that I talk about within this, uh, mini series is that. Your mindset is so important and we don't even realize it.
A lot of times, your beliefs are what shape your emotions and those emotions shape your behaviors and those behaviors shape your result, which goes back to the belief, right? So for example, I, I was, um, giving a workshop like maybe a month ago, and one of the people that weren't able to meet it, she gave a question and she said, I feel like a failure.
What do I do? And I said to her. Via, you know the answer. I said, um. When your belief is that I am a failure, that causes your emotions to feel, I'm in despair. I can't do anything, right? You get sad, you get disheartened, right? And so what does that do for your behaviors? Now you're not applying to the jobs you wanted to apply to.
Now you're not doing your resume correctly. Now you're missing out on opportunities, and so what's the result you end up failing? And so it, it backs up the belief that you're a failure. Yes. So it's, it's, this is why I start reset with mindset because oftentimes we're just like, I just need a job. Like, I don't care about anything else.
I just need a job. I've come across so many people on LinkedIn that are like, I, I don't care about any of that other stuff. I just don't need a job. But if you have a trash mindset. How are you gonna get that? Because your behaviors are going to shape those results. So that's why I talk about mindset first, and then I talk about time and productivity, your habits, right?
The things you're doing in your, your time, how you set goals, things like that. And then we talk about confidence because once you have those other two pieces in place, then your confidence gets higher. So that is a mini series, and it, it has a workbook too, so it allows you to, um, work through different things with it.
So those are two resources I have. Um, but if you go to my website, it's continually being updated and yeah, I, I am excited about this new chapter in life for
Laura Rotter
me, so I, I can sense in your voice. Of course, ev everyone who's listening can sense it as well. I also get. To see you and uh, I can tell that you're very excited about this chapter that you've started already and that's coming up.
Laura Rotter
So I'm so glad we met each other and had this opportunity to, uh, spend some time together and get to know each other better. Torriel
Torriel Harris
me too. And, you know, you did say, what is the one thing I wanna tell people? I wanna remind you. You're amazing. You are awesome. You are dope. You are powerful. You are strong.
Laura Rotter
All of those wonderful things about yourself. Don't forget them. I. Don't forget them, hold onto them, because even if right now things feel dismal, it's not going to last. So just keep going.
Torriel Harris
Amen.
Laura Rotter
Thank you very much.
Narrator
Thank you. Thanks for listening to Making Change with your Money certified financial planner, Laura Rodder specializes in helping people just like you organized, clarify, and invest their money. In order to support a life of purpose and meaning, go to www.trueabundanceadvisors.com/workbook for a free resource to help you on your journey.
Disclaimer, please remember that the information shared by this podcast does not constitute accounting, legal, tax, investment, or financial advice. It's for information purposes only. You should seek appropriate professional advice for your specific information